I mean loose. Morganna finally learns the truth and Merlin laughs in her face.
“That
gives me some comfort then. It's nice to have a fellow stranger as a
friend.”
...This
statement from his friend made NO sense to King Arthur. That Merlin's
gifts might make him feel like an outsider was a reality he would be
hard-pressed to refute. But what made him think Sasha was a 'fellow
stranger' and what exactly did that phrase even mean? When Merlin had
asked about 'Sophia or Sasha' he didn't seem to notice that they were
two separate people. How much of Merlin's conclusion was based on his
returned memory, and what was the wizard only making guesses at?
'I've
got to stop thinking like that.' The young king chastened himself. If
the past hour had taught him nothing else, it was how right he had
been to call the other man 'old friend' in the first place.
“Arthur
you know that feeling I get for no apparent reason?”
“And
9 of 10 times you're proven right? Yes, why?”
“One
word: Duck.”
Arthur
instead threw himself backward to the ground. This gave him a clear
view of a roughly hewn weapon frozen in mid air above his head.
Rightly assuming it was Merlin's magic that stopped the weapon, and
fervently hoping Merlin had caught a glimpse of the assailant, Arthur
raised his head.
“Nothing
Human.” Merlin replied in response to the inquisitive look his
liege had given him. “Had two legs and weird looking skin though,
sickly green.”
“Merlin,
go after it and, however you can do, silence it.” Arthur order
sparked no outward surprise or joy or fear. Rather Merlin's face was
pale and blank as he tossed the King a stone as blue as a robin's
egg and about three times as big, and rushed off through the woods
after...the assailant.
“Knocked
it out.” Merlin whispered as he sank down next to Arthur a few
minutes later.
“Merlin.
You told me you wouldn't ask me to make magic acceptable by law...”
Merlin looked up at him. “Shouldn't we shut up and move on?” A
flicker of understanding passed over Merlin's face. “Unless you
have a way to deal with this, beyond avoiding the issue?” Arthur
continued.
“Actually,
I think I do.” He put his hands out in front of him at equal
height. “With permission?” Arthur nodded curtly. Merlin pulled
his right hand higher, palm up and pushed his left hand lower, palm
down. “It's a cloak of silence to make an appearance of sleep. But
it won't last very long.”
“Alright
I guess. What's this jewel do?” Arthur's first question actually
seemed to surprise Merlin.
“It
was to let me know if whatever the creature was had circled back...If
you were in any danger.”
“I
think I'll swallow whatever I was going to say and insist you speak
the question in your throat.”
“...Who
was, or is, Sir Leon?”
“I
can honestly say I wasn't expecting that Merlin. He's a knight who
keeps to himself most of the time but has been a knight of Camelot
longer than any of his fellows around the table of the ancient
kings.”
“The
Knights of the Round table. Glad to know I wasn't making that up! But
do I really know him. Rather, does he really know me?”
“As
far as I know Merlin, NO ONE else knows of your abilities...except
Gwaine now.”
“But...would
he understand it? He told me he and I really needed to talk. Has he
learned it himself? I guess I better answer these on my own huh?”
“I'd
say so my friend. But remember your promise to me.” Merlin's head
jerked up. Arthur pointed to his left and raised his brow. Merlin
nodded slowly. “What else is going on in that head of yours?” The
King continued as though there were absolutely nothing strange going
on.
“Do
I know anyone names Sasha or Sophia?”
Arthur
actually started. “Quite well, I think.”
“Duck,
duck goose!” Merlin yelped, thoroughly yanking Arthur's mind back
to the present moment.
Arthur
sprinted to his forward left while Merlin bounded to his immediate
right. Whatever the creature was chased after the young king. Almost
before he knew it Arthur was engaged, sword to claws with a scaly two
legged and otherwise indefinable creature. 3 minutes later the
creature was lying on his stomach with a sword in its back. It was
only after crouching over the dying...thing, for several moments that
Arthur realized what had happened at all. Merlin had pulled himself
to the right in order to circle back, unnoticed, and had used his own
sword as a dagger. Engaged as they had been fighting each other,
neither combatant had noticed his presence. Which of course is what
the young man had intended all along.
“There's
not much more I can say.” Merlin told Arthur as they remounted
their horses. Arthur turned his head sharply to the left and right.
“You get the feeling we're not alone?”
“There's
something watching us yes. Not a warrior though.”
“How
can you know that?”
“It would have attacked by now if it
were. And it wouldn't be hiding itself so well.”
“I
can't argue with you there...I don't suppose...” Arthur's
suggestion went unfinished.
“I
would seriously rather not.”
“Well
something tells me it'll be needful before the end.” Arthur stated
offhand.
Merlin's
heart and head both seemed to drop as he replied. “Yeah, probably.”
“These
visitors puzzle me Milady.” The wispy creature told it's mistress.
“Oh?
How so?” Morganna replied curiously.
“At
once they need something from each-other and need nothing at all.”
“Did
you observe my creatures attempt?” Morganna replied dismissing the
assessment. “How would you assess our strangers?”
“The
warrior is a capable. The younger man is...shrouded. I cannot say
anything more for certain.”
“You
have done your part. You may return to your rest.”
“...With
thanks Milady.”
A
few minutes later Merlin and Arthur had stood up from their own
respite and decided to continue a longer journey. It was a shared
belief that their expedition would be far more intense and worthwhile
than either of them could have predicted. They had no idea how right
and wrong they were.
“Welcome
Brother to MY domains.” Morganna said behind them, holding the
reins of a black horse.
“I
wish I could say 'glad to see you' but obviously it isn't so I'll not
waste my breath.” Arthur replied.
“What
do you want from us?” Merlin stated steadily.
“Oh
I think you're wise enough to figure that out old friend...old sage
that you are and everything.”
“Merlin...Is
she honestly trying to tell us...?”
“If
so, she is both right and wrong.” Merlin replied stoically.
“I
saw you Merlin. I saw the real you, and you have yet to show your
lord?”
“Morganna,
this is bordering on true hilarity. Or would if I let myself get
caught up in my memories. But you're wrong. This is the real
me...THIS,” He continued yanking Morganna closer to them, dropping
her on the ground. “Is just what I can do. None of you have ever
seen that straight.”
“You
always were a fool Merlin.”
“Strange.
You didn't say that at Ealdor...or with the druid boy...you even
acknowledged that I was responsible for dethroning you! Does that
sound like the work of a fool?”
Morganna
turned her head toward Arthur, expectation evident in her eyes. “You
saw him for yourself, you saw his true self with your own eyes. My
job here is done.”
Arthur
smiled. “Morganna, I already knew. And I agree with him, you've
both succeeded and failed.”
“You
knew? You've had a wizard for a servant and you were fine with it?! I
suppose the extra help..”
“E-nough.”
Merlin stated in a stronger and more confident voice than either of
them had heard from him. “Morganna. I owe you a debt of gratitude
but that only goes so far. You yourself were responsible for Arthur's
discovery. When you took my memory from me, I used my abilities for
my normal work...I didn't remember that I wasn't allowed to. Magic is
punishable by death even now and Arthur didn't even throw me in
prison. That's what I meant when I told you I'd seen
Arthur's...deserving...more clearly than before. And for the past
three weeks I've never failed to see the irony of owing my new found
freedom to the one person who would snatch all freedom from me...I
thank you for it, either way.”
“You
can't exactly bind me up and take me back under lock and key can
you?” Morganna asked her brother, who shook his head wearily.
“I'm
not stupid enough to try it or coldhearted enough to want to.”
Arthur answered.
“Arthur,
I suggest you let me do ONE spell and the three of us line up to go
back to Camelot.” The young wizard said reluctantly.
“Arakei-notsath--”
Morganna began
“Don't
disapparate!” Merlin warned her sternly. Morganna looked at him
with a clear challenge in her eyes. One HE took as a question. “The
spell I did when I saw you here either binds you on the left hand
path, which now it comes to it is exquisitely appropriate...or simply
nullifies your powers. I don't think you want to risk either one of
those. And you know I'm not one to make up these threats.”
“You
can't keep me bound up forever.” Morganna said tersely.
“Nor
would I presume to try.” Merlin replied at once. “But for now,
let's get back home.”
“Tell
me one thing Arthur.” Morganna said bitingly as the walked their
respective horses back toward Camelot. “What is it about your
servant that trumps your sister?”
Arthur
didn't bother looking behind himself as he answered. “The
difference Morganna is that he doesn't lord his powers over people,
or use them to take what he pleases. He sincerely tries to help, to
protect Camelot ...and me.” He finished gently. “And Merlin what
are you up to?”
“Are
you really as thick as all that brother?” Morganna taunted the
King.
“I
know he dampened your powers Morganna. I want to know for what
purpose?”
“...Until
you decide what to do.” Merlin responded slowly. Arthur didn't know
what to think or to say. A situation that made Morganna's face brim
with pleasure and anticipation. But Merlin's face and head both fell.
“Arthur, what is the one thing I've always tried to tell you to
do?”
“...To
trust in myself.” Arthur replied slowly.
“I
trust your judgment. I always have and I still do.”
“You
really are a boot-licking coward Merlin.” Morganna's taunt rang in
Merlin's mind. But for once he didn't care that no one else could
hear it. He responded aloud anyway, without stopping his horse.
“For
once I won't deny that most of you have been mostly right about me.”
Merlin began slowly. “But as usual all of you have missed the
point. If I am half of what you, your sister and Si-gen have called
me, it's because I choose to be so. It IS better to serve Arthur than
rule with you...or worse become like you.” He stopped and turned to
his Liege. “Arthur what do you think should be done?”
The
King stopped his horse and turned to face his friend. “Get her away
from me and come back to Camelot. You and I have more to discuss than
we thought.”
“I
believe I can help you there.” A gentle voice whispered. The blue
misty creature that had spied on them was back. One look at the face
it had made of itself told them not to draw weapons or anger against
it.
“What
do you mean?” Merlin asked it politely.
“I
can carry the essence of who she is far from here. As yet it's inside
her body, so that comes too. She's my mistress; no harm or discomfort
can come to her by my will. Doesn't mean I can't take care of her.”
Morganna
looked as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing.“You
called me your mistress. What does that mean to you?”
“Honestly
mistress, I was about to ask you that.” The wispy entity said in a
mock concerned voice.
“You
are meant to obey me!” Morganna shrieked. “That is what I asked
of you and you agreed.”
“Not
so. You made me promise to help and to follow you. Which is what I
have been doing. I have more recently seen however that helping you
and obeying you...no longer go hand in hand.”
“I'm
glad someone finally realized.” Merlin whispered after the souls
vanished from his sight. He looked at his friend and lord. “That
following her and following her orders aren't always the same thing.”
“How
long have you known that truth of the matter?” King Arthur asked
his friend in a dazed voice.
“Morganna
wanted to rule alone.” Came the calm and withdrawn answer, in a
voice so monotone it would sound artificial to some ears. “She
wanted to right the wrongs done her and her kind by your father and
in that name she carried out her plans. Following her orders and her
plans is one thing, actually working toward that goal is something
else entirely...Trust me I should know.”
It
took several moments for the stunned look on King Arthur's face to
see past his servant and into the eyes of the young woman who had
spoken and was standing on the other side of his friend. Her light
blue top and dark blue trousers left little doubt as to who she was,
even if her voice and face hadn't already told him.“I don't doubt
that Merlin knows most of that stuff.” The woman continued calmly.
“Or would if he remembered them. I thought it was time I laid out
that particular difference for all to see.”
“It's
good to see you again Sasha.” Merlin stated with a quiet joy in his
voice.
“You
also Merlin.” The woman replied. “I'm also glad everything-almost
everything has come around the bend to itself.” She paused and
looked at Arthur, as though unsure he would welcome her input.
“If you have anything more to say Sasha, now's the time to say it.”
Arthur responded blithely.
“I
once gave Morganna a meal to eat. It was for her own good and in a
time of development and formation. That probably won't mean anything
to either of you. And to shorten the tale, by the time she came to
the throne she was so far consumed with personal vengeance I had not
the power to recreate the meal...not by any means short of going into
the kitchen, finding the foods and cooking it. My powers didn't work
her will anymore, only for her good. And she didn't want anything of
that. Of course any other order she gave me I was physically capable
of doing. Claiming hereditary ruler-ship she was owed my obedience,
as much as Uther was or you would have been. But she had not from me
respect, nor loyalty and certainly not friendship. I'm as glad as you
are Merlin that this distinction is recognized. And I think you know
where I'm going with this.” She told the wizard gently. He nodded
sadly. “Then I should stay by your side until you come to Camelot,
and the rest of it I place equally in your equally capable hands...
and judgments.”
As
soon as they had come to the castle, Merlin bounded away from his
friends, for once not asking if it was alright or telling them what
he was doing. Sasha stood looking after him with a kind smile on her
face.
“You
really care for him, don't you?” Arthur pondered aloud as he
observed her gaze.
“Sire,
let's go someplace out of the way, then we can have this talk. I
understand how overdue it is.”
Arthur
let go of the reins of his horse and silently followed his enigmatic
friend up the stairs of the castle. He had assumed they were heading
for his own chambers, but learned otherwise when she took a left
rather than a right at the top floor. He quickly found himself in a
small room with nothing but a bed and small table with two wooden
chairs. She quickly sat down in one chair and naturally he took the
other.
“Merlin
is my first friend.” She stated in a withdrawn voice. “He is the
one for whom and because of whom I have returned as often as I have.
When I'm not sure how to...what I should or should not do or say, I
try to see things from his perspective. And yes, I've always known
what you have most recently discovered. But I felt it should be up to
him to tell you, an admission, not a confrontation. And to explain my
previous comment, about things almost coming full circle...You are
King. Morganna is no threat to anyone in the five kingdoms. The
prophecy which entered your sisters dreams, first caused the aging
spell and nearly brought revelation. Gweneviere is Queen, in truth if
not in name. I realize Uther did die at the hand of Emrys. But surely
you see that it was not his fault? He did everything he could but the
charm worked well.” She smiled faintly at the look of surprise on
Arthur's face. “Aggrivane hated your father. He placed a charm
around his neck that was bound on the left hand path. Thus, the
healing spell our mutual friend tried to perform, had the opposite
effect. You, and Merlin each have a final promise to fulfill. I have
told you yours as near as anyone could. If you can fulfill your
solemn word. I hope you know...”
“Yeah...I
remember.”
“...Then
Merlin should be able to fulfill his pledge.” Sasha finished as
though uninterrupted.
Ten
minutes later Merlin walked up to Sir Leon and invited him on an
evening trot through the woods.
“What
about simply retreating to some quiet corner of the castle?” Sir
Leon counter-suggested. They walked silently to the northern most
room on the third level of the castle. Sir Leon quickly shut the
door. “I realize I am the one who predicted this discussion. But I
have no idea where to begin it.”
“Do
you know why Arthur is apparently so mad at me?” Merlin responded
quickly.
“I
didn't know he was. But if it has anything to do with what's been
going through MY mind recently, then yes, I know why...Which I assume
is what you were actually asking me about?”
That
this was a request, not an assumption or simple statement was not
immediately evident to Merlin.
“What's
happened between us? Is that secret what came between us that we are
distant?”
“Merlin,
what are you talking about?! You and I have never been close, not
distant either, just not close.”
“Then
how do you know?” Merlin replied with something between shock and
incredulity in his voice.
“I
figured it out. You didn't tell me. But the burden was too much for
me to bear, so you took it from my mind. The memory was nothing but a
dream to me, until this incident. Whatever happened to you is
probably like what happened to me...though with a different cause.”
“I
took your memory from you?”
“It
was at my own pleading. I couldn't keep it from Arthur – I didn't
trust myself to hide what I knew.”
It
wasn't all of the truth nor was it entirely true of itself. But
though nearly a stranger, Leon was a good judge of character and
timing. He saw that naming another friend Merlin should know, and
likely would not recognize, was not the wisest course of action to
take. So he gave Merlin the joy of believing that he himself had
granted the knight's request. The rest of it WAS true.
“...What
happens now?” Merlin requested placidly. It was the only thing he
could think to say.
“Arthur
has accepted this I take it?” Leon replied quickly.
“What
I am, yes. But I don't think he'd accept that any one else would have
enough of a reason to keep it from him. I'm going to give you the
same advice I received: be yourself, whatever that means.”
“I'm
not going to breathe a word of this to anyone, except maybe Gaius.
He'll be able to fill in the gaps.”
A
strange look came into Merlin's eyes as Sir Leon finished this
statement. “...that wasn't a reference to...”
“I
realize that. And my memory is returning quite quickly. I just don't
like the feeling that we'll become any sort of closer friends,
because of something that never should have happened.”
“Merlin.
I'm honestly not sure what to say to that. But I am glad for you and
Arthur. I'd wager things will be more relaxed between you now.”
“I
agree with you there. And actually I think we're both wrong about
that.” Sir Leon looked thoroughly confused. “You should speak
everything you know or guess to Arthur.”
“Merlin,”
The knight began. “I've never known you to refrain from honest open
speech. But this seems even more...Open booked, that what's normal
for you...I'm just wondering what could cause this change in you.”
Leon explained casually.
“That
one is simple, I'm more free now than I've been since...since Sir
Lancelot first came and left.”
“Well
I have to give you the point there.” The knight replied, and with a
polite bow, he withdrew to leave Merlin alone with his thoughts.
Arthur
summoned Merlin to the great hall at Breakfast the next morning. When
he walked through the double doors the first thing he saw was that
Sir Leon, Gwaine and Elyan were there, the three of them sitting in
chairs to his forward-left in some sort of triangle. Gaius, Arthur
and Guinevere were there as well, sitting in the same formation, but
to his forward-right. Merlin did the only thing that made sense to
him and sat down between Sir Leon and Guinevere, joining the two
branches of people into a curved, line.
“Alright,
I'm going to assume this isn't a farewell party.” Merlin quipped.
“But what's going on?”
Arthur
smiled kindly. “I just thought you'd like to examine the latest bit
of legislation to be drafted.” He passed Merlin a rolled up piece
of parchment. “It was not an easy challenge, without my scribe.”
Merlin
unrolled the decree, took one glance at its contents and flushed
purple. “I'm fully expecting to wake up now.” He stated firmly,
but quietly.
“Not
this time old friend.” Gwaine stated with a small smile.
“Why
Arthur?” Was all that escaped Merlin's mouth.
“...Because
I promised you that I would do so.” Arthur replied, seeming
surprised at the question. “I told Emrys that I would declare
toleration if not acceptance of Magic, and I've seen for myself that
you did all you could. It's time I held up my end. Don't worry. I
told them everything that you and Sir Leon told me. We agree that
some of these laws might be a little out-dated.”
Merlin
looked like he didn't know what to feel or think. It was several
seconds before he verbally responded to any of it. “Alator.” He
whispered.
Five
confused faces stared at him. One was stunned. “What has he to do
with any of this?” Gaius asked.
“This
is the day that many have longed for. And I owe it to Alator to tell
him personally. Arthur please, let me go find him.” Arthur simply
nodded. Merlin bowed and withdrew...not looking at anyone.
“Gaius...who
was he talking about?” King Arthur asked of the physician in as
firm and calm a voice as one would wish to hear.
“Something
that really wouldn't have made sense to me a few days ago.” Gaius
replied at once. “And someone I haven't thought of since...Since I
was kidnapped.” This got the attention of everyone in the group.
“I'm glad we're all still sitting, you'll feel the need for it by
the time this story is over.”
“Who's
Ala-tor?” Gwaine puzzled aloud.
“Morganna
hired him to get information out of me.” Gaius began slowly. “What
I told you when I got back was true Arthur, but far from the total
truth. Morganna knew the wizard Emrys was a threat to her. But had
only seen him AS a wrinkled old man. She saw the wizard at her
hideout, as he destroyed the creature that had burned it's way into
Merlin's mind...she concluded that I had sent...this wizard there to
destroy it and save Merlin's life. And therefore I knew who he was.”
“...Which
is why you were kidnapped at all. Aggrivane knew that you'd hide your
knowledge of Emrys and that I'd misjudge what you were hiding.”
Arthur said as the reality settled into his heart.
“Alator
has very effective methods of getting to the truth buried in one's
heart.” Gaius agreed.
“Wait,
is Merlin safe going to Alator then? I mean does he know the truth of
it?” Elyan asked at once.
Gaius
simply nodded in response.
“I
don't understand.” Arthur stated, confused. “You said that
Morganna got nothing from you?”
“SHE
didn't.” Gaius replied curtly. “Alator learned everything I knew
about Emrys, including his other name. But that's not what meant the
most to him. What mattered to him, in his heart was the future that
Emrys is said to bring. His destiny is both vague and certain. He is
to unite the five kingdoms into one people, and join the old ways
with the new. And together you both have taken steps to accomplish
this.”
“It's
far from finished if that's true.” Sir Leon stated in a tone of
which they could make nothing.
“Merlin's
not thinking of Albion.” Gaius said. “Not expressly anyway. He
wants Alator to know that he'll no longer be shunned and hunted for
what he is. For what he's done, maybe. But not for his powers.”
“Gaius.
Do you honestly hold this man no grudge?” Gwaine asked of the old
physician. “I mean when I found you in that cave, you were barely
breathing.”
“I
believe people should be permitted to show who they truly are and
make up for their past errors.” Gaius replied calmly. “That
whatever Merlin told him, whatever they told each-other, they meant
every word. If Merlin promised Alator to tell him when this freedom
comes, he should be allowed to do so.”
“...Alator
and Emrys, are safe by my word.” Arthur stated firmly. “Someone
who knows her, please tell Sasha she can have the room at the
highest, northern edge of the castle...if she still chooses to stay.”
