Almost as soon as he'd arrived in the desert, he'd been 'greeted' by a Saracen lord and his attendant. The lord had challenged him for possession of the horse he'd rescued from his shipwreck. Initially the man had charged Balian while remaining on his horse. On foot he'd barely stood a chance. It wasn't long into the 'skirmish' Balian declared himself the Baron of Ibelin and demanded a fair fight. After the claim was translated by his attendant, the lord obliged. A fair fight was not only deserved, it was expected. Balian won the skirmish easily. The blood from the final wound had gotten all over the servant's horse. An instant later the man was flat on his back in the sand. Walking up to him, Balian noticed he had a young, handsome face, and strangely showed no sign of distress, he put his hands in front of himself, palms up.
“I understand.” Balian responded. “It's not needful, but I understand. Get up.”
The stranger did so. It was only after he found a pack of dates and seeds, shoving several handfuls into his mouth, that he spoke again. “You have taken it very well I have killed your master.” The man didn't answer verbally, only gave a perplexed look. “Why are you not upset?” Balian clarified.
“We are taught nothing happens to those who believe unless Allah has made it so. I have no reason to regret my master is now in paradise. Although I could wish he had not left so suddenly.”
“I believe I understand. We can't stay out here. Take me to Jerusalem?”
“I will bring you.” The man said, easily.
“How long though? I mean the journey, how far are we away from Jerusalem?”
“We should be there by nightfall.” Came the instant, soft reply.
The assertion was perfect. It was almost dusk when they trotted their horses close to the walls of the Holy City. Balian had kept side by side with his companion riding this far, but pulled himself just barely ahead of the stranger as they drew close. It was a gesture the man apparently understood as he slowed his steed and lowered his head slightly. A palm tree stood not far from the David Gate. It was a good place to rest. Balian drank a gulp of water and offered it to the stranger; an offer the man politely declined. Balian had remounted his horse at trotted several paces to the gate before he realized he was traveling alone.
“What is the matter?” Balian asked, looking back with a concerned expression.
“If it's all-right, I'll put a cloak around my face.” Came the cryptic reply.
“That's fine. But that's not what I mean.” Balian said shortly.
“Please, let it wait until we are safe, and a good way inside.”
“...All-right.”
The city of children and soldiers that was Jerusalem sprawled out before them. After passing some pottery stalls and more than a few fruit and herb sellers, Balian stopped in front of a water trough. The stranger dismount and patted the neck of the steed he'd been riding. After rummaging around in his sack he found a carrot stub to offer the beast.
“...Either you hide your feelings well or your people are not as passionate as we are led to believe.” Balian said suddenly. “I meant to explain my last question. I don't know much about life here but it IS strange to me...I don't even know your name?”
“I am called Nassir. 'champion' or 'supporter'. What do you intend to do with me?”
“I can't ask you to follow me.” Balian replied thoughtlessly. “I go to the mound at Gethsemane. I am Godfrey's son, the baron of Ibelin, yet I'm a stranger here. I don't know what following me would mean for you. Will you be all-right on your own?”
The shock on Nassir's face was considerable. “I...yes. Your style makes sense now. Your fighting style I mean. It was unlike anything taught here. That last move in particular. I admit, I do not understand why...” His words failed him completely.
“Why I refuse to take you with me against your will as a slave, a prisoner or some such mess? In the village I'm from...I was not a slave but had no other status. I will not use a title I'm not sure I earned to make anyone feel inferior. Go. What was the name of the man I killed?”
“His name was Mummad-al-Fais.” He said as he mounted his horse. And looked at Balian for a moment. "I thank you for your kindness." With that he raised a hand, palm up, and rode away.
“Tiberius, will you ask the king if my friend may come with me?”
“I need not.” the Marshall replied. “The king is eager to meet him.”
I walked a couple of paces behind Balian as we were led before Baldwin IV. There were few candles in the sitting room. I somewhat expected to be either announced or scowled at the instant the king saw my face. Neither happened. I simply bowed at the waist and smiled faintly.
'Salaam Ali-kum.” the king told me in a cordial tone.
“Alai-i-kum Salaam.” I answered. “I hope you will not think it empty praise or false courtesy if I say this is truly an honor and a privilege.”
“What may I call you?”
“I...I am called Nassir, majesty.” Stunned as I was, I could not say any more than that. He did know me, and remembered even now that I could not always be the same as I was.
“My friend,” The king said to Balian. “We have decided that you shall take command of the armies of Jerusalem. Guy will not be satisfied with his position in the shadow the threat you represent. He will meet what he perceives as enemies of God. Will you look after my nephew as you've watched over me?”
“I will do what I can..” Balian answered softly.
“There is more. Would you marry my sister Sybilla were she free of Guy DeLusigian?”
My friend was quiet for such a long time after that I almost feared for his health. “If she were somehow free of her marriage, I would join with her. But I will not cause her to be free of Guy of her husband so I can be with her. Unless he can be gone without being killed I must refuse.”
“You'd rather risk a war at his hands than be with a woman you love?” The Marshall curtailed.
“I would rather preserve my own soul and leave the rest of the matter to God himself, yes.” Balian answered firmly. “Believe me when I tell you, God can make a way for his will and his plan for this world, whether we who claim to shape our own lives see a path or not. I will not presume to make God's will happen, even if I could claim to know what it was. 'A king may move a man, but the soul belongs to the man'...You told me once. You have my love, but I cannot...'gain the whole world and forfeit my own soul'.”
“I believe I understand.” Was Baldwin's only verbal response. He seemed resigned to what he saw as the only alternative: a war with my people.
“Forgive me,” I whispered. “but I believe I know another way.”
“You have our undivided attention.” Tiberias told be plainly.
“Guy is as war hungry and power-mad as the lord at Kerak. If he declared to meet my people in battle, he would lead the fight himself, whether his actions are sanctioned or not?”
“Undoubtedly. But how does going to war help? That's what we are trying to avoid.”
“A battle will eventually break out anyway, no matter what any of us do.” I answered as simply as I could. “The fear of war will not keep a fragile peace in place for long. Not when so many of us, on both sides, yearn for the victor of winning a war over the other side. Except victory is assured for only one side when the fighting does start. Without stratagem or divine intervention, Guy would never win a battle against my lord Saladin. I believe Balian and I were brought together for some great good, beyond changing each-other's minds. Until now, I could not see for myself what else might change for the better.”
“I hope you're not suggesting we ensure Guy's death in battle. That would be much the same.”
“You wanted a way for him to be...not a threat but not murdered. And I am not saying we should do anything to ensure his defeat. Only that you not actively work against his plans. The mullah is always saying that God alone determines the results of battles. It seems Guy and his men also believe this. I am saying let him start a battle with my people...And it will be that much easier to avoid a war breaking out between our peoples. Unless it's by his own hand, Guy would almost certainly not be killed in the battle. War has seemed like a dream of glory or a nightmare one cannot escape for so long now. I know it sounds horrible but nothing is helped by a lack of conflict based solely on the dread of it. Each of us need to see this thing clearly., both people who yearn for and who fear battle. I believe we would all make the choice to avoid all out war if faced with the reality of such a conflict.”
“Strange as it is to hear you say this; I honestly think it makes sense.” Balian whispered.
“We agree.” Baldwin IV answered. “When I am gone, you must not encourage him in this endeavor. But neither should you stand in his way.”
“Forgive me sire, but may I withdraw?” I asked the king. “You have my love, but the destiny of your kingdom is your own. I wish neither credit nor blame for what happens to belong to me. As odd as this may sound...you are masters of your own fate here.”
“Self-destiny Sajiq?” The king told me in easily. “Of course, but stay nearby alright.”
“Of course sire.” I answered him. I bowed and withdrew.
Several minutes later I was waiting outside, in the corridor or passage not too far from the king's quarters. I saw a young boy watching me. He was richly dressed but seemed so quiet and withdrawn, he might have been the son of a servant. He did not back away as I walked up to him. I stopped about 30 paces away and smiled, as softly as I knew how.
“Salaam little one.” I told the boy. He looked at me with a kind smile and some wonder.
“Ala-i-kum Salaam.” He told me in a soft, firm voice. “Who are you?”
“I am called Nassir. I was a solider in Saladin's army. And when Balian found me...Forgive me sire I didn't realize.” I put my hands behind my back and bowed my head.
“I'm not king yet.” He told me. “Even if I were, you would not be one of my subjects.”
“Yes I would. I am not one of your people, but for as long as I live in Jerusalem I am one of your subjects. And I am honored to be.” He looked at me as if asking for clarification, so I continued. “I am not one of your people, I gladly live under your authority. I...I served Baldwin's father here in court before my lord Saladin called me back to Damascus. I follow my friend Balian the lord of Ibelin. Balian has sworn an oath to serve the peace and the king. I give you my word sire, I will do the same.”
“You are a nobleman among your people?” I heard a woman's voice ask.
I turned and the Princess of Jerusalem looked at me. I bowed at the waist and raised myself. “Yes, Milady. Though I would prefer to leave that alone for the moment. I'm not here because of who I am to my people, but because my lord Balian was invited to speak with the king and asked me to come with him.”
“You know Balian?” She told me. I could make nothing of her tone.
“I honor him and I love him.” She looked at me sharply. “You find it strange I should feel such things? He set me free. When he thought I was nothing more than a servant, and had the right to claim me as his prisoner or his slave he set me free. We parted with sincere wishes of peace that day, and very much on even ground. That unto itself would in-debt me to him. I am endeared to him for another reason.”
“He seems to inspire loyalty as well as confidence. And I know him well, for having known him hardly at all. Why do you cling so much to him?”
The Marshall Tiberias walked up at that moment. I was never happier to be interrupted in a conversation. Balian himself did not fully know the reason or depth of my affection for him. It would be wrong to tell any one else before speaking the truth to his face. So I simply bowed my head and asked if I could go wait for Balian. Sybilla did not seem to have a problem with this. Nor did the young man. Tiberias himself seemed to have a problem with my courtesies however. He asked the two royals to go ahead of him to the great hall and as soon as they were out of earshot, he turned to me with cold eyes. “Why do you hide who you are?”
“I do not know what they would expect of me.” I answered. “I am a stranger to them, and they do not know my history. That being so, I cannot expect them to treat me as Baldwin himself might do.”
“That's what I'm asking. Why do you not tell them who you are.”
“This is who I am.” I told him rather shortly. “Hiding my condition is not lying about my quality. I am showing them exactly who I am, not what the world would call me. Balian and I share many qualities. But none more than this: a desire to be seen as who, not what we are. For our friends to understand that who we are is showed and proved by our hearts and minds more than any title or label we are given, would be the most glorious hope we could achieve. I will not claim my rank as though it were my identity. PLEASE do not treat me as if the ceremony of my position defined the quality of my heart.”
“You are so much like Balian...And Godfrey.” Tiberias told me smoothly.
“I was surprised Balian is so much like his father. I'll take that as praise not a compliment.”
“Is there a difference?” Tiberias asked me easily.
“Your intentions in what you say can make something a false compliment, or empty flattery. Praise is by definition sincere. The way we would praise God, it cannot be out of selfish ambition or deceit. It's how our language is formed. Apparently even changed to French the thought remains.”
“A nice thought. There is one thing in this to praise that has barely been mentioned yet.”
I was about to ask Tiberias to elaborate on his comment, but Balian walked up to me, not having heard anything but the last bit of what I'd said. I smiled faintly, told Tiberias 'Au revoir' and we parted ways. Balian and I were not thirty paces down the hall when he turned to face me squarely. “We need to talk.”
“Indeed so.” I answered. I did not look him in the face until we returned to Almaric's house. The solider had not said much to me since his questions about my choice to remain as I am. I couldn't help hoping the weight on Balian's mind was unrelated. The thought of having that conversation so much was already about to change, was intimidating. Balian led me to the room I had chosen as my own, and almost as soon as we both entered, he sank to the floor. I crouched in front of him, trying to read the expression on his face.
“I agree with you. Guy must be allowed to believe he's succeeded. He cannot be openly opposed to any avail as leader of the armies. I want to hear from you, without reservation...”
“I want this peace to last beyond Baldwin's reign. I know you feel the same.”
“Yes. I just wish I didn't feel like I was sending a man to his death to ensure that peace.”
“Guy will lose. I am almost certain he will not die. He cannot defeat my lord Saladin in combat. It is logic and numbers that my people will win. It does not have to lead to all out war. Without the likes of Guy and Reynald stirring up trouble, your testimony and mine will stand for our intentions.” Balian looked up sharply. A smile smile started to appear on his face. “What is it?”
“For a moment it sounded like you'd placed yourself on our side of this divide. I understand you meant those of us who seek peace rather than war, on both sides of this nonsense. You and I hold to our faith rather than our religion and have a sense of compassion that is not limited to our own people. Still...it was both a surprise and a....” His voice faded and he looked at his hands. “What do you think of me?”
“You are a man of honor and seek peace within yourself and with others.” I had to slow myself down to avoid laughing out loud. “You care more about pleasing God than what any one here thinks of you...whether they are your fellows in rank or your followers. More strange and wonderful is you trust what you yourself believe God is like. You chase after the will of God through your own eyes instead of what anyone else would tell you God is like...what they believe God would have you do. And because of this you see both the heart of God and the reality of life more clearly than anyone except Father David ever would.”
“ 'Father David'?”
“That is what my people call the knightly priest I met here. He is as much a true shepherd of his flock as he is an example of what true faith is. He's the only man I ever knew before I challenged you, to understand that faith, when it is real is good...no matter which religion it supports. But he had holy orders...It was to be expected he would see spiritual matters more clearly.”
“What is the matter?” Balian asked in a quiet voice.
“Almaric asked me once how much I gave up to come here. He wanted to know what my life had been like among my own people, as if what I lost was the measure of what I had gained. But I don't see it as losing anything. My life here with you has been sweeter and more...has been and is worth more to me than anything I gave up when I followed you here. God himself must have more of a reason to bring us together. I should not speak for God. I honestly didn't mean to. There is more we can do here together for our peoples and the peace Baldwin has maintained these past six years than we ever could have without each-other. But that is not the only reason, is it? If everything we think is about to happen actually does come to pass...I hope that will not be the final...I hope we may stay together even after this scene in the play of this world comes to a close. My life was richer just for knowing you better. I hope you feel the same way.”
“The friendship we have runs deeper than words or thoughts could express? I do. God might have put us together on this earth for some great good. I'm just glad I was able to know someone like you.”
“It is indeed a mysterious move of God that I...” Balian started to glare at me. “WE found someone so much like ourselves on the opposite sides of whatever line our peoples draw to divide ourselves. Which I suppose is part of the reason I feel so certain of this, and so hopeful.”
“Remind me to ask you what the story of your life has been like!” Balian exuded. I was surprised and for once I did not bother hiding it. “I knew you were an officer in the army, our equal of a knight. But I didn't know you were also this educated and gentle.”
“Sajiq, I consider the question asked. I'll tell you. If you had to find out the truth when we spoke with Saladin, that would be a shame and an embarrassment I could not live with. I would be devastated if even for one second you thought I was a liar. Saladin would be disappointed in me if I'd hid such a thing.”
“You said something like it before. I take it there was more to it than I knew?”
“Even knowing Guy's temperament and the inexperience of the king, my lord Saladin would need assurance that Guy was not sanctioned when he leads the charge against my people. That is where my testimony becomes both needful and perfectly sincere. Aside from the fact that such a moment is not fit for a revelation, you deserve to know this instant why it would make a difference.”
“I...I do not understand.”
I had known this moment was coming. I was certain he would accept me for what I was. I hoped he would forgive my concealing myself this far.. I was beginning to suspect Balian would understand and see my heart better than most, and would know where to look, what was important. I clasped his hands in mine and bowed my head over them. “I have not lied to you. I am called Nassir. It does mean champion or supporter. But it is a description, not my given name. Among my own people, without a disguise, I am Imad Al Din.”
“Does that mean...I cannot...” The shock on Balian's face was heartbreaking, but somehow seemed misplaced. “Does that mean Saladin is your father?”
“That name is a gift and a title. It means 'the righteousness of the faith'. Mine says I am as close to a true image of faith that can be found. As though if true faith could be seen through a looking glass, I am a close resemblance. And I am close to my lord Saladin, I suppose you might say close as family. But no, we are not related by blood.”
“Which is why he would trust you so implicitly. I'm a little muddled. Why did he let you go?”
“No, I'M a little muddled...why would he not?”
“It's not seen as abandoning your people, joining with us...with me?”
“Balian!” I told him, I couldn't help laughing. “As long as my duty to you does not break my oath of loyalty to my people, there is no conflict of interest. It does not by the way. Our kingdoms are at peace and the three of us want it to stay that way. Following where I believe I am led to go is not something my lord Saladin would ever dissuade me from. He knows you valor and honor for himself. It is the very reflection of Godfrey's own persistence and character. Your father was a great man...”
“You knew him...?”
“Not well. But he was one of the few officers in the army of Jerusalem we could respect for more than just his skill with a weapon, or strategy. He held on to his own convictions and the ideals of peace without wavering or exception. I could not know for sure when we first came to Jerusalem, but now I have seen and experienced the compassion and tenderheartedness for myself...You are your father's son.”
“You lived here before?” Balian asked me bluntly. “You just admitted you were even a greater nobleman among your people than I thought of you.” He continued softly. “You must have met Baldwin himself earlier in your life. At least, that would explain your desire to stay out of everyone's way...And why you did not seem out of place earlier, but were not at all comfortable either.”
“I...I did not wish to be...declared I guess is the word. Apparently he remembered that of me.” I just realized where all this confusion is coming from.”
“Please explain.” Balian told me gently.
“I did not hide my condition to prove a point or anything of the sort. Even when I served Baldwin in his court I preferred to be seen as nothing but a Saracen in his service, and I had actually been his father's friend, so it was easy for them to honor my wishes. When I came before him today, I was not sure he would remember me, or see me for who I truly was. THAT is why I stayed at peace and hidden. I wanted to be seen and known as who I truly was, not what the world would make of me or what people would treat me as because of a title. I simply wanted to earn whatever treatment or consideration people gave me. I wanted it to belong to me. I hope you can understand.”
(later on)
“Why are you here?” I asked the man as courteously as I could.
“How do you mean?” He responded with what might have been concern.
“I am certain you don't mean any harm. But I cannot stop thinking you are...something or someone else, than what you pretend to be.”
“Well, you know I am a nobleman among my own people, and I am following where I feel I am being led to go. What else matters? I mean, why do I need to have any other purpose here?”
“Alright, let me be direct. Can I count on you to stand with us when the time comes, not just for Balian but for the sake of peace?”
“You may rest assured sir, most of my people want nothing but peace. From what I can see, the same can be said of yours. I always knew Guy DeLusigian would try to make war on my people. He wanted to meet in battle who he sees as the enemies of God, eager for his own glory therein. I am in part responsible for letting that happen. Regardless of what ELSE this means, I will do what I can to make sure that WAR as we know it does not come from his reckless hate.”
“I am sorry I ever doubted your intentions.”
“I hid who I really was.” He answered simply. “You needed to be sure I wasn't hiding anything else. Trust me, I understand. The only thing is...I need to be there...when MiLord Saladin (Sala-ho-deen) responds to this...to the aggression Guy has offered. That is why I stayed here after Kerak. I am...an in person witness to what I already believed. With such a witness and testimony, even the Mullah will be forced to accept that I speak the truth I've seen, not just my own belief based on my perspective.”
“Then we better get going. He approaches even now.” I told him with a faint smile.
Saladin stood in front of the young king of Jerusalem, his closest advisor just behind him. Sybilla, the queen mother of Jerusalem stood just behind her son. There were very few others in the great hall, just Balian of Ibelin, the Marshall Tiberias and 3 courtiers, to stand as witness for whatever might happen. A side door to the great hall opened and Imad walked in. He walked to stand aside from the others, as a mediator...then reconsidered and stood beside his friend.
“Salaam Ali-kum.” Baldwin the 5th stated formally.
“Alai-i-kum Salaam.” Saladin replied. “I have come to address the actions of Guy DeLusigian, the captain of the armies of Jerusalem, to learn if he truly speaks for his people and to bring peace, if not justice between our peoples.” The sultan stated, as though to the entire room. He faced Imad directly. “Will you speak for them? Have you the authority?”
“I have the experience to know what they would say, and have seen the truth of it with my own eyes. I have their trust and faith on such things. I do not believe I should speak as their representative. You must hear their words from their lips, or it will mean nothing.”
“Very well.” he turned to address the court again. “I have no intention of returning Guy to you. I only wish to know if his actions were sanctioned, or was he truly a renegade. I only need to hear it from Tiberias or the king himself, I will not doubt their words.”
“Guy used his authority to make war on the Muslims.” Tiberias stated in his gravelly, coarse voice. His intentions were his own. We will do what we must to ensure his actions die with him. We will make no attempt to rescue him from your hand.”
Saladin looked up with surprise and a knowing smile. “He is a convenient answer then? It only makes sense that you are willing to give him up for the sake of peace?”
Tiberias looked confused. And stepped forward to address the misconception. “MiLord, if you did return him to us, we would execute him as a war criminal. While I am sure there are many in this kingdom who would agree with his ideals, no one in this court wants open war.”
“Can you confirm that?” Saladin asked of Imad, in Arabic. Who looked sideways to Balian, as if to ask permission to answer without reserve. A request which was granted with a slight nod of his head and a look of pride.
“I can affirm that this warmonger we speak of was very nearly removed from office before Baldwin the Fifth even came to the throne. Balian of Ibelin was to be chosen for this role.” He waved his hand to indicate the man of whom he spoke. “And Balian is a man of justice and honor as well as courage and honesty. He would speak for all of them if he could. That is, if his words were heard, his thoughts would be those of the entire kingdom. And if my life these last months has taught me anything, it is that we want nothing but understanding and communication between our peoples.” He blushed at his choice of words. “Balian and I, as well as the Marshall Tiberias and the King himself.”
“Who is Balian and why do you match yourself with him?” Saladin asked quickly.
“Balian of Ibelin, is the son of Godfrey and his heir. I do not put myself with the Marshall or even with the child-king. I put myself with Balian and would follow him to the ends of the Earth. The story of how I matched myself to him and how we met is best kept for another time. What should be known now is that I matched myself to him. It was a freely given choice and the beginning of greatness. He defends both his king and the peace we have established between our two great kingdoms. I hope this stands until either of our deaths.”
Tiberias understood enough Arabic to know the glowing terms Imad had used for Balian. King Baldwin, who was barely 13, understood only that Imad was an ally and an advocate for their kingdom, and someone King Saladin would listen to. Balian himself kept his expression as neutral as he could, while listening to what he was sure was Imad's defense of both himself and the sincerity of the king's intentions. He knew Imad's feelings about him and was certain at least some of what he had heard had been a description of their bond.
