Gathering Honey from a Weed

The conclusion to a four part story of mine which began with a scene I called 'Dining on Ashes'. The scene described by these character STILL has yet to be written. When it is, Earth-21's story will Finally be complete.

Gathering Honey from a Weed

“Oh my God I just realized how stupid I was being!”

It was the absolute last thing I expected to hear out of Nikita's mouth. I'd spent almost an hour talking with her about what had happened between her and J'onn and why.

“I was this close to making some sarcastic comment about being an empath not a telepath. And for once the point wouldn't have been that I wasn't a mind-reader. My people, like Enkarens are constant low level empaths. But we don't read emotions we receive them, like no matter what. I wouldn't say it's very good as a lie detector but we can actually sense ignorance and innocence. And in that moment, in my apartment Me'gann was innocent and J'onn had his head so far up his ass. I'm sorry but he did.”

That's when whatever the light-bulb was went off in her head.

“How he reacted to Me'gann is perfectly understandable. I've been asking myself how he could suddenly forget who I was, and think I would go along with it. In that moment, looking at me he actually reminded me of Hank. Not because of the hate in his eyes but because of the single-mindedness, close-minded and hard. He just wasn't thinking straight. I keep saying his reaction to Me'gann, his belief about her was understandable. But that's all this ever was, a reaction to having Me'gann in the room. Hell, given what they are to him I can't say I blame him!”

I didn't know what to say, so I just waited. I knew she didn't need prompting, just a breath.

“Me'gann's people are...what Hank and I thought J'onn was when we met him. You remember about White Martians and Green Martians, right?” I nodded. “What I never had the chance to tell you, is that if J'onn had been the kind of person he is, but looked like Me'gann, I would have had trouble seeing it. Seeing him for who he really is.  Even without my personal experience, I would have assumed the worst of him. The White Martian I met was a dick. But White Martians are horrible. I would actually call them monsters. They are known in the galaxies as mindless, aggressive, one-would-say militaristic-except-they-don't-have-discipline, monsters. But to J'onn's people they're something worse. They are more like...Demons.”

I was starting to catch on. “So the idea of a White Martian you would actively defend, was hard wrap his head around. And taking her part was hard to swallow. He must have felt...betrayed.”

“He didn't forget what I was or our history together. He must have thought I had betrayed that history! I mean don't get me wrong. I still stand by the whole 'She's a guest in my house and you have no right to take her from under my roof' part.”

“Can't argue with you there.”

"I just kind of have trouble with the thought I was so busy being hurt he pulled a Jekyll and Hyde to realize it actually made sense!"

“Do you truly believe she's different?” I asked her in a low voice.

Nikita raised an eyebrow, sat up straighter than I'd ever seen her and set her face. “Me'gann is as different from her people as Lena Luthor is from her family. She's not only different, she's worth it. And I don't just believe that. I know it. Which was kind of my entire point.” She looked over at me, almost inquisitively. I didn't say a word. “And you weren't asking that for yourself, were you?” I shook my head. She turned to the front door.

J'onn was standing at the doorway.

"Nikita, as always you are too quick to blame yourself." J'onn said warmly.

"I...will you please explain that?"

I chuckled a little bit at the irony. "Can I field that one?" J'onn nodded solemnly.  "I've had a lot of time over the past 8 years to miss you, and to regret not having the chance to get to know you," I said pointing to Nikita and then to J'onn. "But one thing that stands out when I look back on the day we met is that you weren't just absorbing the blame to keep it off my shoulders. You actually blamed yourself for making such a baseless assumption about him just because of what you believed about White Martians. Even though that belief wasn't baseless. And now here you are again, absorbing fault that doesn't actually belong to you. Nikita, you were Hank's prisoner for six years. Even at the end when you didn't live in a cell, you were his prisoner. But you never had a problem with J'onn wearing Hank's face until he actually lived up to it. And I'm sorry but I have to ask...was she right?"

J'onn sighed deeply and looked down. He wasn't particularly on edge, just kind of pondering his answer. "Obviously I didn't know him like you did. But he seems to have been nothing if not a blind, militaristic idiot. Someone who couldn't see past his own preconceptions -what he knew as certainties- to see the goodness in a person. If is what the two of you see when you remember him. then yes, I lived up to his name." he looked up, with a fierceness I'd never noticed before. "And Nikita, you were right to call me out on it!" Nikita looked like she couldn't believe her ears. "I came into your home to take someone away just because I had a problem with them. But not even with them, with thier species. I treated them like a criminal because of thier race. You were right that is NOT what we do here anymore..." He looked at me, helplessly.

"It is however what Hank would have done when he was director, without a second thought." I said. "Hell it's what he did as director...to you. Nikita, I don't imagine you've had much occasion to talk about your time in the D.E.O before Hank saw you for who you truly were. I imagine it would have been too painful to talk about. And before I came back it would have been too sad...reminded you too much of me. But I'm telling you now, your reaction to a reawakening of those feelings makes perfect freaking sense: You were having your own memory flashbacks!

So I have both scenes that would have led to Nikita nearly kicking J'onn out of her apartment. I have J'onn and Superman talking over what the heck happened between himself Nikita and the White Martian named Me'gann Mor'zz. And Jeremiah Danvers talking the same thing over with Nikita in her apartment a few days later. But I don't think I ever typed up the original confrontation. Where J'onn tried to forcibly remove that White Martian from Nikita's apartment and didn't understand why she would defend 'that thing'.  Nikita's attitude was basically "I know what her people are. I also know who she is and for me, that wins out." One thing I don't think was touched on in either of the conversations where the characters commiserate about what happened, even being around White Martians physically hurts Xavallens. Yet it was J'onn's behavior; his attitude and prejudices, his rage and arrogance that were giving Nikita headaches. Which is why Nikita compared him to the ignorant arrogant asshole that was Hank Henshaw who's face he wears. Henshaw being a man who once tried to execute J'onn on the spot for being a monster. And was directly, though unintentionally the reason J'onn met Jeremiah Danvers, Nikita and even Superman at all.

I will eventually fill in what was missing, which happens to be the meat of this sandwich. But this was the basic of it, beyond what we already know.

The last thing Nikita told J'onn was: I understand if you don't want me at the D.E.O. anymore. If you want me to, I'll leave. But this isn't the DEO. This is my home and my home is a sanctuary. I am pretty close to just asking you to leave us alone. And I literally mean that. I don't want to sever connections with you, or say anything I won't be able to take back when I've calmed down. And don't make me ask you to leave."

Nikita is on deaths door. Elana and Nikita are of similar empathic races. They are the most open-minded and human looking aliens anyone at the D.E.O. have ever met. Which is why it made sense to everyone that Elana could easily 'sync up' with Nikita and bring her back from the brink. "It would require someone both compatible and in sync with her to pull her back from death. I'm compatible; I'm not in sync!" She looks around and takes it by a different handle. "It would require someone who has been with her for at least six years day in day out and  is on the same wavelength as her. I'm on the same wave-length. But she and I are practically strangers."
In other words, despite the fact that they agree with each-other on 95% of everything, they have never actually spent any time together. It has to be someone who is BOTH."

"Could I do it?" J'onn asks in a voice barely above a whisper.
"I...I believe so." Elana replied thoughtfully. "The two of you have always been so in-step... and you've known her longer than anyone."

Several days later Nikita is at her apartment, watching a Cinderella musical when J'onn knocks on her door. She waves him in, finishes whatever she was whispering to herself about and  invites him to sit down with her and watch the movie. The instant he sits down, she stands up.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"What are you drinking?"

"It's a kind of seltzer, apparently mildly alcoholic." J'onn give her a 'why do you say it like that' look. "I've never known anything that is not alcoholic to calm both my nerves and my stomach like this. Here, let me pour you a glass." She pours him more of the seltzer into a glass identical to her own. "Chet na-she Hezikiah Nest-Za Ki." She says raising her glass in a toast. She brings the glass up to the side of her face before drinking. "Alah Ka-tiya Kian-em."
 A traditional toast in her own language which translates loosely as "To life friends and family...To God whoever that may be." 
J'onn actually blushes. "I'm sorry I, wasn't sure you recognized me."
"I know what is familiar to me J'onn." She replied with a small laugh. "Although I have to admit I'm not always sure why. Why does Jeremiah act like he's afraid of me?"
"It's a caution stemming from concern, not apprehension." J'onn said automatically. His face grew a look of regret. “You know how much we both care for you right?” Nikita nodded. “I'm hoping you and I can talk about something we have been dancing around for a long time.”
Nikita sat herself down on her couch. "Yeah what is that about anyway? Seriously J'onn, what happened between us? I feel like apologizing to you for something. But I also feel like grabbing you by the collar and trying to shake some sense into you. Which makes no freaking sense!"
"I underestimated you and scared you off in the same stroke."
“J'onn I am asking you to be direct exact and forthright. It shouldn't be hard for you.”
“Do you recognize the name 'Hank Henshaw'?"
A dark look cast over Nikita's eyes. "Only that he was a jerk who took Jeremiah away from his family.  I didn't have anyone to miss me when he locked me away. He must be dead now, long dead because I try to picture him and all I see is you."
"That might be because I am wearing his face. Hank was...well I met you and Jeremiah for the first time when you both served under him. Your word for him was Creech-ta. It Fits."
"...It would have to; I wouldn't use it otherwise." Nikita said offhandedly.
"Something did happen between us. You said I was appropriately wearing Hank's face. That I reminded you of him. You were right. I stepped into Hank's shoes in a MAJOR way. His attitude, his bull-headedness, and quite possibly his arrogance. If there is one thing Jeremiah, you and I know about Henshaw  it's that we hated his tendency of jumping to the worst conclusions about someone who is practically a stranger, just because of their race. Which is exactly what I was doing and you rightly called me on it. But you didn't break faith with me over it.”
"You didn't know how unnervingly I hold to my own convictions?"
"I think you mean unswervingly, and no I didn't. But even that isn't all of it. For the last several months I've been keeping my distance from you...admiring you from a distance actually. You're a better human being than I ever realized. Which may sound ironic, but for us it's true." Nikita cocks her head sideways. "What?"
"Weird choice of word sequence is all. And you are a very deliberate person so I imagine it was meant to indicate something specific. It wasn't just for the sake of being different?"
"That was me acknowledging both that we know you're Zavallen and that we still call you a human being. For us it doesn't matter.” J'onn looked intently into Nikita's face with a warmth and admiration that would make you envy the recipient. “We've been working together, professionally but avoiding each-other in a way that...probably wasn't very comfortable for either of us. I've been trying to find a way to tell you that you were right. But something...uncertain was going on. There was some pain in your face I hadn't seen there before. And until I knew where it came from, and what part I had in putting it there, I didn't want to, 'stick my foot any father down my throat'."
" 'In your mouth', I believe is the proper expression. At least you're aware of what happened. And you're being honorable about it: Giving me space without playing the blame game. What I mean is you're being selfless. You're not demanding an apology or an explanation, but giving one. And you recognize the part you had to play in what happened between us. In my experience, that's pretty rare."
" 'In your experience'.” J'onn said thoughtfully. “It occurs to me I know very little about your life before I met you. Or at least, before you ended up here the first time.”

“I shall assume you mean the D.E.O.” J'onn nodded. “Well, there's not much to say. I spent 19 years on my home planet, 38 years in the Western Hemisphere of this one. 12 years living rough with the salt of the Earth in the geographic intersection of the world; Southwest Asia. I was learning Farsi and Arabic so I could speak as one of them. I came back to the United States, got captured as a criminal and treated as if I had been running away from justice or the law the entire time I'd lived on your planet. No one had noticed me so they assumed I had been hiding my presence. It was pretty messed up. I don't even know how long after Jeremiah joined the D.E.O and life became bearable again. 5 years later. I assume you know that part of the story."
J'onn nodded sagely. "You stood up for Jeremiah even when you wouldn't stand up for yourself. Because of that, Henshaw decided you could work for the DEO and make a difference, instead of living there as a prisoner in one of their cells. Wait...you were a prisoner for more than 5 years?"
"Of course!" Nikita said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. "Hank didn't take a particular interest in me until Jeremiah came. I only look back as far as when Jeremiah joined up because that's where our story, yours and mine I mean even begins but that's not the same thing. Are you feeling alright? J'onn I am asking as formally as I know how, to be direct exact and forthright. Which if I know you at all, shouldn't be hard for you.”
“Do you recognize the name 'Hank Henshaw'?"
A dark look cast over Nikita's eyes. "Only as a complete jerk who tried to keep Jeremiah away from his family. And when I was here initially he 'didn't like me very much'. I am being polite. He must be dead now, long dead because I try to picture him and all I see is you."
"That might be because I am wearing his face. I met you and Jeremiah for the first time when you both served under Henshaw. Your word for him was Creech-ta. And it fits.”
"...It would have to; I wouldn't use it otherwise." Nikita said offhandedly. She hesitated briefly. “J'onn, what happened between us?”

“Why do you ask? Standing where you are, what inspires the question?”

“J'onn, you are my best friend in the entire universe I KNOW this. But I'm alternating between wanting to apologize to you and wanting to grab you by the neck and shake some sense into you. Which makes no freaking sense.”

“She's broken.” Superman said to Director Henshaw in an undertone.

“Respectfully, you don't know what she's been through. She's stronger than you think.”

Superman actually turned to look at the human solider. Understanding flickered across his face a moment later. “that's not what I mean. I scanned her with X-ray vision. Her bones aren't old they're Bro-ken.”

“You're trying to tell me that...You can't be right.”

“Oh and you're honestly trying to tell me you didn't....” Superman closed his mouth when he saw the flabbergasted look on the director's face. “You really didn't know?”

“She told me her people live an average of 120 years and I knew she was at least 70. I didn't know. Superman I don't know whether to yell at you or thank you right now. I'll settle for asking you to either return to your temporary quarters or leave the facility.”

“My dad should be back soon. I'll go to my quarters.”

“Very well.” He waved a hand at an agent who was standing nearby. “Qǐng dài tā dào tā de zhùchù.” Which loosely translated to 'show him to his quarters please.”

Superman tried to keep the look of shock off his face; and did not succeed. “I may have seriously underestimated you Director.”

“Now you know how it feels.”

A few minutes later when Jeremiah Danvers clocked out of his shift the first place he stopped was at Superman's temporary quarters. He hadn't knocked before Superman got to his feet. “Jeremiah. It is SO good to see you.” Superman said embracing his father in a bear hug.

“I'm glad to see you too son. But something's up isn't it?"

“I...had a question to ask you about Nikita.”

“In fairness to a mutual friend don't you think you should ask her first?”

“Not that kind of question dad. I was wondering how old she was. And if you knew whether she was ill.”

“She's lived on Earth more than 50 years and was 20 years old when she landed. But ill, I couldn't say. She wouldn't necessarily tell me if she were. Why?”

“Hank Henshaw just reintroduced us. I scanned her as she walked away. I told Hank that her bones aren't old they're broken. And he looked at me with exactly the same look you have on your face right now. Perhaps even more shocked. I didn't understand it.”

“Tell me what you saw. And what you mean.”

Superman described old bones, fractured almost to the point that every step would be painful for the individual. And is initial assertion that Hank Henshaw himself had been responsible for this damage...before his extremely sincere redemption. An opinion that had changed when he saw 'an expression on Hanks face that looked like death warmed over.' Jeremiah put his hand in front of his mouth in a thoughtful pose.

“Elias. Henshaw was a jerk back in the day, but he was a law abiding jerk. He had a sense of restraint. There is no way he would have done anything to cause that kind of damage to her system. And I'd hate to say it but this explains a lot.”

“Okay, explain, please.”

“After I'd served here for about 2 years I asked Hank why Nikita was considered an enemy alien. She certainly had not done anything since I'd joined to earn that classification. He replied simply 'because those are my orders'. As if it should be enough for me that he'd decided this. Or at least that's what I thought at the time. Perhaps those were orders he had been given which he'd accepted with the straight-forward simplicity of a solider.”

“Orders he'd received from the former commander of this...organization.”

“Hank was as by the book military as you can get. He never would have questioned the orders of a direct superior.”

“In the six years they've been working together Nikita never brought it up?”

“Elias are you kidding? What good would it do for Hank to know that the man he'd served under, and quite possibly his predecessor used such excessive force against an alien that he literally broke her bones? Something I have learned since coming back here, she would never do anything to make it harder for Hank to believe in himself. I mean I always knew Nikita was staying quiet about something for Hank's sake but it never occurred to me...”

“You never considered she was staying quiet from me for my sake.” Hank Henshaw said from the doorway. His stocky, muscular form slightly betraying the emotion written on his face.

“I'm sorry Hank, I should have realized...” Jeremiah began.

“No, it's alright. I just wish we'd found out a different way. But she wouldn't have said anything anyway You know how she is Ag...” Hank stopped himself from saying 'agent Danvers' and looked at his hands. “She wouldn't have wanted to give the appearance of not being up to the task. For anyone to question her capabilities, even stemmed from concern and not doubt...”

“Oh, that I remember.” Superman said fondly.

“What do you mean?” Jeremiah replied.

“Infernians make her sick, like physically sick. One went on holiday in Basset Park. It gave her a kind of seizure. Not deliberately; even being around the thing gave her a seizure. But when she was in the infirmary all she could think about was how she 'let that thing get away'.”

“She literally did.” Hank clarified. “She told it to leave because Superman was coming. But she was more concerned with duty than her own safety. It was... enlightening is the only word I can think of.”

“I never actually knew her very well. But I can't say I'm surprised. You want to know something strange?” Superman and Hank Henshaw both nodded. “The entire reason I came back when I did is because Elana Morris and her friend found Arias. Elana told me Nikita was at your side as an ally. She said she trusted that Nikita genuinely believed in you for the simple reason that Xavallens don't tend to lie without a damn good reason. And when I heard that, I decided I wanted to come back, if only for a couple of days. I wanted to see her again, to see how she was doing. And J'onn...released me of my obligation.”

“It occurs to me I know very little about your life while you were gone.”

“You are asking without asking what J'onn did to me' while I was with him?”

“...And what obligation he freed you from.” Elias interjected.

“I promised him that if he let you go home, then I would stay with him. And I did. I wasn't his prisoner, a captive perhaps in that I wasn't allowed to leave. But he did not mistreat me. We were friends. Sarrin's original words on the matter could not have been more true. I can move freely about the premises as long as I did not try to leave the premises. When I asked J'onn for permission to come back here, just for a couple of days to see if Nikita was sincerely behind you or simply playing a part, he released me of my original oath.”

“You were true friends.” Hank said slowly.

“It was weird thinking of someone who was technically my jailer as a friend, but yes, we were. Tell the truth...I miss him. I always will. But home for him is wherever Sarrin is. Home for me is with my son and working with Nikita.”

“Is that you asking to return to duty at the D.E.O.?” Elias asked his father.

“It's me offering to, if he wants me.”