I couldn't think of another title. The story runs from season 4 of Supernatural when Castiel first shows up until near the end of season 9 (so far). Jimmy Novak, Castiel's vessel does not get screwed over as badly and Sam prays to Cass after the mess with the blade. There's a season by season summary of the show. From season 4 to season 15.
"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies." Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They're concerned my judgment and dedication may have been compromised.”
“Then tell whoever's in charge, you do not want me doing this, trust me.”
“Want it, no. But I've been told we need it.”
“Castiel, I don't know how else to say this. If I walk into that room, if I give in, you will not like what walks back out.”
“For what it's worth, I would give anything Not to have you do this.”
Dean closed his eyes. Castiel might have had the powers of an angel, but in this matter he was powerless. He stepped through to door, face set hard and cold. The bastard strung up on the devil's trap had tortured him in hell for something like thirty years. Until finally he had agreed to be the torturer. And now, he would be one again. He forced himself to put the thought out of his mind. But he knew it would haunt him for years to come.
Sounds of pain came from the cold storage room; the moans were Alistair's, not Dean's. Castiel stood with his back ramrod straight against the wall, his arms firmly at his sides. He knew that his brethren were watching him with intense scrutiny, but somehow guarding an already triple-bolted room did not seem as important as intercession. And so he closed his eyes. “avi hakdush bioter. ani nichna lech bekal dvar shani osha. abel ani mevaksh am ze efshri, azor le'ish haza. haser et hameshima hazu mechtafav.”
“My most holy Father. I submit to you in everything I do. But I must ask if it is possible, help this man. Take this burden from his shoulders.”
“What exactly are you doing?” Uriel's voice interrupted rudely.
“You know exactly what.” Castiel replied tersely.
“You really are enamored of these little grease monkey aren't you?”
“When God himself tells me to stop caring about His most glorious creation which we are sworn to protect, I will stop. Until then I am his loyal solider. And you are not foolish enough to suggest otherwise. Besides, you and I both know Dean Winchester is more important to the fight than you are making out.”
“...Unfortunately yes.”
“ Then I should do everything within my power to keep him safe.”
“There is another, more sure way to win this fight.”
“Not without sacrificing the final battle. Or have you forgotten our ultimate enemy is Lucifer, not Alistair, and certainly not humanity.”
“Humanity isn't worthy of being our concern, much less our enemy. And what of our brother Lucifer, rotting in th cage, what did he do to deserve that?”
“He rebelled against God, corrupted our father's creation and out of jealousy, ruined humanity.” Castiel replied. His voice was measured, his eyes searching. Was Uriel suggesting what he seemed to be suggesting? He kept his face impassive.
(Something else goes here. I don't know what but there is a missing scene)
Dean Winchester was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. The Devils trap that had bound his 'prey' had been smudged and as a result the demon had been freed. Castiel and Sam had eliminated the threat, but were at a loss for explanations.
“Do not let your sympathy for these monkeys blind you Castiel! Our father doesn't care what any of us do. That I am even standing here is proof of that!”
“You killed our brothers and sisters. You attacked the garrison, killed our fellow soldiers, fellow angels, then blamed it on Alistair and his demons?”
“I only killed the ones who said no.”
“And now, if I say no, you'll kill me.”
“I don't want to. I like you. More than that, I need you. I need you to help me, help me free our brother Lucifer. All you have to do is take a stand.”
“I intend to.” Castiel faced Uriel, any hint of timidity gone. “Despite my attachment to certain humans, you consider me a worthy solider. I'm gratified. But you make one grave miscalculation.” Castiel drove his blade into Uriel's heart. “I am still a loyal acolyte of God, no other. Not Dean Winchester not you.”
Dean woke up in his hospital bed to find Castiel sitting beside him.
“Are you alright?” The angel said with concern.
“No thanks to you.”
“Dean will you let me...” He raised his hand, reaching for Dean's broken jaw.
“Cass, I don't think you can.”
“Dean, I feel I owe you that much.”
“What will the others think.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Caring for you is in accordance with our orders. They won't object. I don't think I'd care if they did.” Castiel pressed his fingers against Dean's forehead and immediately the swelling vanished. Dean's sight was normal.
“Caring for me is 'according to your orders'?”
“You are aware, of what happened in Hell? Not what happened to you but, when you escaped?” Dean nodded miserably. “We believe that, it is written that the righteous man who begins this calamity, must be the one to end it. It's why Michael is so eager to have you as his vessel. And why no one objected to my attentions to you. Until now.”
Castiel was staring at him again, his eyes soft but intense. “Dean, I hope I haven't ruined our chance at a friendship.”
Dean couldn't help smiling. For a solider of God surrounded by an army of ass-hats, Castiel was pretty okay. Almost human. “No Castiel. You've made a friend.”
“James, what is going on?”
“I've thought about...what you said. I stayed up all night thinking about it.”
Jennifer leaned in, her movements cautious, her attitude loving. “And?”
“I can't fail him.” James Cole looked briefly at his wife and walked sadly out of the house. Standing on his front porch, he looked up to Heaven. “Castiel, promise my family will be okay, and I'll do it.” A warm white light surrounded him, he closed his eyes. “Yes I understand. And yes.” He felt a surge of energy. It wasn't painful in the slightest, but warm, inviting. The light faded a moment later.
Jenny ran out the door and found James standing in the yard.
“I am not your husband.” James Cole's voice intoned.
“You...you're Castiel.”
“Yes. Your husband is truly a devout man. Believe me, he prayed for this.”
“I'm not certain I can. But I do believe he accepted this, accepted you.”
“That is all I can ask. I must go.” He began walking into the yard. He turned back briefly. “I must go. I must find Dean Winchester.” Castiel wondered off into the night. To find his charge and although he didn't realize it, his destiny.
“Cas?” Dean called. He saw a man lying on his back.
“Cas, whoa take it easy.” Sam urged holding him gently.
The man held his hand to his head. “Castiel? Not Castiel. My name is Jimmy.”
Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks. Sam touched Jimmy's shoulder gingerly. “This might sound crazy but you really better come with us.”
“Crazier than letting an angel use you as a host for a year?”
“Tabling the con-fab until we're out of the hot zone.” Dean insisted.
Twenty minutes later Jimmy Emmanuel Cole sat at the dinging table in a low rent motel two very concerned strangers staring at him.
“I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy toasted oats so much.” Said the man with the longer hair and wider face.
“It's been almost a year since I've eaten anything.” Jimmy replied.
“Okay that would do it.” Said the other man. A man with shorter hair, slightly sharper features and strong emotions. “He never let you out?”
“I volunteered to be a vessel, I was the outside.”
“Ohh next time I see him I am so gonna kick his ass.”
“Pretty sure that can wait. What do you remember about being... possessed?”
“I remember this constant, dull pain, calm, an empty kind of calm. I remember sitting in my living room with my wife, walking out onto the front porch and the next thing I know, the two of you are standing over me.” Jimmy looked from the concerned, soft-spoken man on his left to his other new friend. This man seemed to be struggling with anger, even feelings of betrayal. “I invited him in. It was my choice. He must have told you that.”
“Doesn't make it any easier to stomach.” Dean said miserably.
“I'm sorry, I've been rude. What are your names?”
“I'm Sam Winchester. This is my brother Dean.” Said the man on his left.
The names clearly meant nothing to him.
James Cole sat in the living room he once shared with his wife.
“James, you don't have to pretend. I know the truth.”
“About Castiel, how?”
“He...he talked to me, right after. I guess you don't remember but I ran out after you. Castiel told me you had invited him in.”
“I did. I asked him to make sure you and Claire were okay. I've been...I'm not sure where I've been since then.”
“And out of the blue, he just let go of you?”
James shook his head slowly. “I get the feeling it was more like someone yanked him out of me, angry at him. I have NO idea what's been going on. Sam and Dean said they've been _Dean?”_ Yeah, they say they've been working with Castiel off and on for almost a year. It's weird they call him 'Cass'. Have then been here?”
“No. It's just when Castiel left he said he needed to find Dean Winchester.”
“This is starting to make a weird sort of sense.”
“Jimmy, I know that look. Why are you so concerned about them?”
“Not them. They told me not to come here, that I was putting you in danger.”
“You're right they did.” A voice said from the other side of the room. Two men stood in the doorway. “You should have listened to them.”
Claire knelt beside her father, but James could see it wasn't his daughter. It was Castiel looking down at him with...and oddly sincere expression.
“We keep our promises. And of course you have our gratitude. Your work is done. It's time to go home now, you're true home. Rest now James.”
“No, Claire.”
“She's with me now. She's chosen, and fierce, like you.”
“Please Castiel, take me back. I'll be your vessel again. Just take me, please.”
“I'm not angry with you.” Castiel answered, thoroughly confused. Jimmy shook his head sadly. There was simply no way he could explain to an angel, who had no human emotions, what small a sacrifice he was making compared to having Claire taken from him. “I want to make sure you understand. You won't die, or age. You won't see your family again except in your memory.”
James clutched his daughter's hand, shaking in both desperation and pain. “It doesn't matter. You take me. Just take me, please.”
Castiel sighed heavily. “As you wish.” He pressed two fingers against James' forehead and once again the surrounding air shone with light. Castiel stood, Jenny didn't need told Castiel was back. He carried wore the distant expression she had seen on his face a year earlier.
“Daddy, where are you going?”
“He's answering God's call.” Jennifer answered.
“But we just got you back.” Claire all of 12 years insisted.
“I am sorry Claire. I hope you'll forgive me. I hope you'll understand one day. God put a call on my life, at least an angel did. I'm answering that call.”
“Where will you go?” Jennifer asked. It was all she could think to say.
“Wherever my charge takes me, I suppose.” The angel Castiel answered.
“God be with you...Jimmy.” Jennifer offered with a warm smile.
Castiel actually smiled back.
Castiel approached the vehicle with Sam right behind him. The front seat and the ground beside it were drenched in blood. “He survived, right?” Sam inquired, or suggested, it was hard to tell sometimes.
“This way.”
As they searched for Gadreel, Castiel realized he was feeling shame. He was still unclear on the details but apparently Gadreel had been inside Sam's body for several weeks, healing him from devastating injuries while hiding from the various angel factions. He'd called himself 'Ezekiel' at the time, which made sense. Had he used his real name, Castiel would never have allowed the Winchesters to accept his assistance. With Crowley's help Gadreel had been expelled from Sam's body.
And sometime in the last few months had chosen to follow Metatron. Who he soon came to realize was the most manipulative, dishonest and insincere angel that could possibly exist. Two days ago he had come to them with an olive branch. The truth of one of Metatron's most insidious schemes and an offer to help bring him down. Armed with the First Blade and having succumbed almost completely to it's power, Dean had attacked him with the viciousness of a wild animal. But Gadreel could hardly be expected to know the details. Castiel had recently experienced hunger and loneliness, but could not imagine feeling wounded and afraid on top of that. He saw a man lying face-up in the grass. It was Gadreel. The man's eyes went wide with fear as soon as he saw them. He tried to crawl away.
“Please, I'll leave you alone, I swear.” He pleaded shakily.
'As if I needed to feel worse about this whole mess' Cass thought to himself. “We're not here to hurt you. Please believe me.” Cass assured the man. He reached for Gadreel's forehead but the man held up his hand, blocking him.
“No...your Grace, healing me would only weaken you.”
Castiel smiled grimly. “We are both soldiers of duty Gadreel. Do really I need to explain why I have to do this?” Gadreel sighed but did not protest further. Castiel touched Gadreel's forehead. The wound in his stomach healed instantly. Cass lurched forward as if struck in the back. Then stood, and lifted the man to his feet.
“Should I ask why?' Gadreel inquired patiently.
“In reference to what?”
“Why you trust me? Why you healed me?”
Castiel tried to hide how ridiculous the question sounded. “You mean aside from the fact that I am indirectly responsible for your injuries? Sam told me what you did while you were with him. Humans don't cling to the past like we do. They don't have our arrogance. At least,” He indicated Sam. “they don't.”
“We have that much in common at least.”
“They've been my role models on many things these past few years. This is just one more thing I'm learning from them.”
Sam and Gadreel faced each-other.
“Gadreel.” Sam Winchester said rather formally.
“Sam Winchester.” The angel replied with solemnity. They looked at each-other for a soft moment. “I am glad to see you are fully recovered. I may have lied about my name but I am not, by my nature dishonest.”
“I understand. Believe me, we've all made mistakes. Pretty sure Cass and I will spend the rest of..my lifespan making up for ours.”
Castiel decided to push the conversation into areas of more immediate concern.
“I have no right to ask but I'm going to; will you come back to the bunker with us?”
Castiel could not blame Gadreel for tensing at his words.
Hoping to reassure the man, Sam gave voice to his thoughts. “Dean is locked in a storage room. He won't be able to hurt you, I promise.”
“I don't suppose I should ask what happened?”
Castiel measured his reply. “Dean is not in control of his actions. His mind is clouded, his emotions... amplified. Gadreel, I am asking you to trust me. Return to the bunker with us, help us figure out a way to expose Metatron, take him down.” Castiel stared hard at the angelic solider, the former prisoner of heaven he had once sought to punish for his deceit, and said three words. “Point. Of. Honor.”
“You don't need to convince me Castiel. I trust you. I'll come.”
They walked into the bunker together. Dean was no where to be found bu this did not immediately seem concerning.
Gadreel turned to Sam and ventured, almost conversationally. “You've helped both of us to see the other clearly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Castiel and I met a few days ago. It was the beginning of both doubt and clarity for me. I had seen him through your eyes. You consider him honorable.”
“To say the least.”
Gadreel nodded in Castiel's direction. “He says you're the reason he reached out to me that day. I wanted to thank you.”
“Gadreel, I didn't give a glowing report or anything. I just told him the truth. Cass asked me what it was like when you possessed me. He asked me if I felt your presence, I told him I had. He asked if I ever felt threatened and I never did. From the way he was talking, he already suspected we were wrong about you. I feel I should tell you, the one thing I felt clearly when you were with me was that you weren't at rest. That you felt like you had more to do and were desperate to get it done. That's what I told him. Nothing more or less."
Gadreel would not be put off so easily. His lingering feelings about his own intrusion might have been driving him harder than he knew, but regardless of anything else that was going on, he was determined to make sure Sam knew what he really thought of him. “One thing I've learned being on Earth these past months? With the exception of one we both admire, “He nodded toward Castiel again. “my brothers and sisters don't think much of humans. They obviously don't know you very well.”
“Castiel, I know you're angry. I also know you're our friend. Please, I'm not offering an olive branch just because we need you. But we DO need you Cass. Look I know you have every reason to tell me to get stuffed. I'm not asking for myself. I've made my peace. But please, Dean deserves better. Dean deserves a life.”
He looks up to find Cass standing beside the pew. Wearing a much softer expression than he'd expected. “You continue to humble me Sam. You and your brother make a habit of exceeding my expectations.”
“Does that mean you'll help him?” Sam replied, his voice rising.
“It means I'll hold onto him and never let go as long as there's a small chance that I can save him.”
Castiel felt his arm come down, delivering a vicious blow to Dean's shoulder. 'please stop!' his mind screamed. His voice did not comply. Neither did his fist. Holding Dean by the arm with one hand, he continued throwing punches, until Dean's face was broken and bleeding. As the blows continued to land, he heard Dean pleading with him. “Cass this isn't you. This isn't you. I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. You have to fight this. Fight back Dammit!” Finally Castiel glared up at the one who was manipulating him. “Who are you? Naomi is powerless now. I would have sensed the presence of another angel if you were one. Who are you?!”
The blonde-haired, fair-skinned image of Naomi faded. Replaced with that of a woman only a few centimeters shorter with chocolate brown hair, deep, dreamy brown eyes and a complex-shaded skin tone. “Remember me?” Her voice was as soft as the rest of her, but there was something malevolent behind it. A malice it did not attempt to disguise. Castiel blinked once. “No?” she sounded sincerely disappointed. “But we were so close once.” She teased, putting a silky, sexual tone on the word 'close'. At at that word a memory flashed in front of his mind. A dark, hollow place, completely void of any and all life. Except for an entity who looked exactly like him. This creature had called itself.. “You're the Empty. Please let him be. You'll KILL him.”
“That's the idea.” It mocked him bitterly. “But I suppose we can give this one a brief respite.” The Empty said. Castiel's hands moved forward, pressing two fingers to Dean's forehead, who promptly fell asleep. And suddenly the empty was present, a few feet from himself and Dean. “Now we can speak in private.”
“Why are you after him?”
“No matter how many times they die, these hunters keep finding a way to come back, and pour new dead souls into the ether.. They never stay in Heaven, they barely touch their toes in hell. It's like we have a sign “Stay for as long as it's convenient then bugger off.”
Castiel saw through this immediately. “You're not concerned with Heaven, or Hell for that matter. They aren't your realm. If you could drag Dean into the void with you, he'd have been gone before I even found you.”
“That unfortunately is true. But at least what I kill stays dead. And you will know true loss.” Her face grew hard. Indeed her entire posture changed. Suddenly she looked darker, colder. “No more interfering. No more loud emptiness. No more chaos. Your meddling ends now!” She approached the still unconscious form of Dean Winchester, Castiel's angel blade in her hand. Cass felt himself grow sick and pale. Dean was everything to him. The Empty knew this. Whatever excuses or false ideals she hid behind, this thing only wanted to hurt him. And it could not have found a better means than forcing him to watch Dean die.
“STOP!” He cried out desperately. “Take me.”
“What, was that? A little louder please.”
Cass punctuated every word. “Take. me. in his stead. Take. Me.”
“You?” She said, turning to face him. “But you're already mine.”
He shook his head, as if amused at her increasingly transparent lies. “No not for years. Eon's, maybe. As long as I'm inside of him, Jimmy Novak is as ageless as I am. I know you're only doing this to hurt me. I'm the one who woke you up. Not Sam and not Dean. So take me. Let me heal him and I'll go with you Now. And I will go Willingly.”
“Deal.”
Castiel reached down, touched his hand to the side of Dean's face. The marks healed. Dean slept quietly. “Goodbye my friend.” Castiel whispered. “Tell Sam thank you. I was honored to have known either of you.” In one motion he stood and turned to face the Empty. He closed his eyes, prepared to be taken into darkness.
“Oh but not yet.” The Empty teased. “No you were right I...I want you to suffer. I want you to go back with your friends, enjoy your wacky little life. And when you finally give yourself permission to be happy, that one moment the sun shines on your face? That's when I'll come, to drag you to the nothingness you've condemned me to.”
“So be it.” Castiel replied, his voice thick with confident resolution.
Dean woke up in the bunker. In his own room. Castiel was sitting beside him, watching him sleep. “Cass, how many..” Dean's usual remarks fell silent as he noticed the look on his friends face. “What happened?”
“Dean, I'm so sorry.” Cass whimpered. “I couldn't control myself.”
“Cass will you...What. Happened?”
“You're alive. You're safe. Naomi is no threat to anyone anymore. But to answer your question she manipulated me. Like I was...Pinocchio.”
“Puppet-on-a-string?”
Cass nodded miserably. “Something you said...broke the connection. I took the angel blade and ran her through with it.” Castiel found it disturbing that he was able to lie so readily. But he knew he could never bring himself to tell Dean the truth about the monster he had faced. Or the deal he'd made. He didn't want Dean to ever find out about that if it could be helped. Anyway, he was right where it mattered: The Empty would never bother Dean again. “I healed you. Brought you back home.”
“Where's Sam?”
“Probably still at the hospital. I've been calling him but so far he hasn't responded. “Dean, are you...I will find a way to make it up to you.”
“Cass, you weren't in control of your own actions. It's fine.”
“That's not what I'm talking about. We didn't part friends Dean. I'll make it up to you. I'll find a way to atone. If it takes me my whole life, I will find a way to redeem myself to you. I swear.”
“Cass what...” Dean' mouth opened in a wide O. “Cass, you were trying to save your people, trying to save the world. You didn't do anything I wouldn't have done in your place. Trust me. Is...Is that why you've been gone this whole time?”
“...And because I had a price on my head...yes.”
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