Hollowness Stilled

 The second edition of Elyan's Illness. A little more focused and deliberate.

Merlin stood still as a stone. There was nothing left for him to do. Gwen and Arthur were both staring at him, but he could not even raise his eyes to theirs. His mind was full of the past several hours, his heart with the burden of the past two minutes. Had he honestly heard what he thought he'd heard come out of the King's mouth? Arthur's request had been straightforward 'Will you do anything you can for Elyan?' In the past this had always been in the context of his role as the physician Gaius' assistant, to care for the sick and repair the injured. He was quite good at his work in this regard, having learned much from his guardian over the years. It wasn't a second thought to him to care for a knight of the round table in this way. This time, there was something more to the request, something with which he was thoroughly uncomfortable. Arthur had asked him to do anything in HIS power to heal Elyan, and that was beyond caring for him as a physician's assistant. Merlin was a sorcerer. A fact of which the King was only newly aware. That Gwen had joined him in making this request demonstrated that Arthur had shared the secret with her. Which didn't bother Merlin in the slightest. He'd never had the courage to tell his friends to their faces. But through a combination of trickery, perception and pure coincidence, all of his closest friends knew the truth. Uther's ban on magic as a capital crime still stood, officially...so he couldn't tell anyone else. But Arthur had accepted Merlin for who as well as what he was and for the most part that was all that mattered to him. But it would be nice if the others took it as well when they found out. Merlin found his mind being drawn back to that morning two days prior, when he'd first been told of the disaster which now wrung his King's heart.

“Are you alright Milady..I mean Your Majesty?” Merlin asked of the queen.

“Merlin, how many times must I tell you to call me Gwen?”

“Obviously at least once more Milady.” The man replied sheepishly. “I'm not being pretentious when I say, I hope I have not done anything to put you in this mood.”

“No, you haven't.” Guinevere replied. “I'm just worried about Elyan, that's all.”

“I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him, he's fine. He'll be fine, you'll see.” Merlin stammered.

“You used to be a much more convincing liar, you know that?” Guinevere remonstrated him.

“Alright, I'm concerned about him as well. But I honestly can't see why, and I don't know anything I could do about it if I was right.”

“What do you think could be the matter?”

“Please Milady, don't ask me. It's nothing that makes any sense. I don't want you to laugh at me.”

“Merlin, I've never laughed at you for anything you've said; I'm not about to start now.”

Whatever Merlin would have answered was cut off by Sir Leon's entry into the room. “Your Majesty,” The man began slowly. “your brother is ill.” All three rushed out of the room and down to Gaius' chambers.

“What's wrong with him Gaius?” The King asked of the physician, who looked grim as he replied.

“In simple terms Sire, he is rotting from the inside out.”

“Elyan!” Guinevere exclaimed as she entered the room. She started to run to him, but Gaius grabbed her in his arms and set her in a chair.

“It's going to be alright Gwen, Merlin and I will find a way to heal him, we always do.”

Merlin had barely stepped inside the door before Arthur turned to him. “Is Gaius right?”

Merlin stared at him, open-mouthed. “That I'll do anything I can do, of course he is.”

“I mean that this can only happen by magic of the old religion.” Arthur said briskly. Merlin stared at him even more intently and Arthur realized there was no way Merlin could have known that at a glance, nor could he have heard Gaius' assessment at all. “Find out as quickly as you can. I need to know who or what is behind this.” King Arthur left the room as though there was nothing more to be said. Sir Leon followed him.

Guinevere sat where she was. “Gaius, what's happened to him?” Merlin asked of his guardian.

“His body behaves as though it's been poisoned...but I can't find any poison that could have acted this quickly. My only conclusion is that he has been cursed. I've never seen anything like it before.”

“I gathered that, but where was he when this happened? And was it really magic?”
“I can think of no other explanation. But that doesn't mean there isn't one” As Gaius recounted the details of Elyan's adventures as he knew them, Merlin realized something drastic would have to be done.

“Merlin, now would be a good time to say something.” Arthur said, startling him out of his thoughts. “I don't know why you are even asking me this.” The young wizard stated simply.

“Merlin, I know what I'm asking you to risk. I don't make this request lightly, but I had hoped I could count on our friendship this far, if not on any friendship you have with Elyan...I thought you said you would continue as you've always done?” Arthur's voice had been more calm and cool in saying this than Merlin had heard from him in almost three years. For that very reason, Merlin was having a hard time making sense of it.

“I know what I said, Your Highness. Which is why I'm confused. It's Elyan's affair what he thinks of me after all this happens, assuming it leads to this revelation at all.”

“I don't see how you'll be able to keep it from him.” Arthur stated in a mixture of impatience and joy.

“True.” Merlin admitted. “In which case, he'll go straight to you with what he learned, unaware that you already know and you'll have to deal with it...well however you see fit, but it won't be easy.”

“So you'll do it?” Gwen asked him gently.

“I said it before and I'll say it again: I have never thought of using my abilities for any reason than to protect you and the kingdom. And to that I hold.”

“Merlin, what's wrong?”

Gwen's customarily gentle voice and manner did nothing to quell the sick feeling in Merlin's stomach. For the first time in his memory he felt like either weeping or yelling at the woman who, though now a queen, had been his equal and confidant for most of his time in Camelot. “Either my memory hasn't come back after all or I've been flat out wrong about what it indicated.” He turned to face his lord. “I thought you knew me as an honest soul.” He walked out of the room without another word.

“What happened?” Merlin said aloud to no one in particular. He looked down the hall, decided to keep his thoughts inside his head as he worked through this mess, and continued his musings. How could things change so completely, and in so short a time to make his best friend no longer trust him, no longer know him. 'over the past 5 years I've learned to trust you with my life.' Arthur had said. Either some thing had changed and he'd lost that trust, or the statement, so soon after his revelation had been a lie and he hadn't seen it til now. To his mind there was no other option. 'I gave my word; I'll keep it.' Merlin thought bitterly. 'But this is for Elyan, not for you old friend.'

“What was that all about?” The King asked a few moments after Merlin had left, looking up at Gwen with near-pleading in his eyes.

Gwen stared at the doorway. “I think he was disappointed in you, in us...And he has a right to be.”

“What are you talking about? You heard Gaius same as me. Elyan will likely die if Merlin doesn't find a way to save him. He gave me his word when I found out about this that he'd help any way he could.”

“And we should have trusted him enough to know that he would keep that word!”Gwen said firmly.

Silence filled the room for a few moments. “I see what you mean.” The King said at last.

Merlin returned to his home to speak with Elyan as privately as what mattered to him. He walked to the knight's bedside, nearly knocking over a basket of apples in the process but no-one really cared. He handed the knight a small jar with thick liquid. “Elyan, this concoction will make you well enough to travel. After it wears off you'll feel exhausted but it'll work. We must return to where this started, and hopefully figure a cure.” This had been Merlin's message to the knight, whose only reply had been to drink the potion and nod.

That was now some hours ago, and they were on their way. Elyan had not lived in Camelot more than a year or so, having come to live with Gwen after being granted the title of Knight at the table of the ancient kings. In all his time at court he'd only known Merlin from a distance; which would have troubled him if he'd let it. He knew how close of a friend Merlin was to his sister, and earnestly wanted to know more about the man. There was no doubt that it might only be a question of asking Merlin to his face. The man had a reputation of being an open book, so there was nothing preventing his asking as far as that went. But for some reason he'd not yet had the courage to ask. Guinevere was now the queen of Camelot, and Merlin an attendant to the King. Elyan had hoped it would usher in an age of equality and justice, and so far he had not been wrong.

“I must admit Merlin. I’m not sure why you’ve insisted on being the one to come with me.”

“It’s a favor to Arthur. And a way to prove myself to him.”

“No offense but I’d think you’d have already done that.”

“…Elyan. If something were to happen here, that could have only one possible explanation, would you be able to accept the evidence of your own eyes?”

“If you mean magic, I rather assumed something like that was…”

“LIKE it, yes. I’m not sure what we’re going to find here, but please, keep an open mind.”

“It was right around here somewhere.” Elyan told Merlin casually.

“That you were poisoned?” Merlin asked in an equally calm voice.

“Well that I began feeling ill anyway.” Elyan clarified.

“Which means whatever caused it is slightly farther up ahead.” Merlin stated easily, his mind firmly not in the present moment. Not to the knight's eyes at least.

“Merlin, what's wrong?” Elyan asked in a voice to suggest he didn't really expect an honest answer.

“When we're done here.” Merlin whispered solemnly.

“You've come back you little thief.” A woman's voice said from somewhere before them. Elyan's eyes dashed around himself but Merlin was staring forward. He now was quite certain of what had happened, but not how to deal with it.

“Please,” Merlin said to the emptiness around him. “show us...talk with us as we do to ourselves.”

A moment later a woman came into view, leaning heavily on the branches of an apple tree. One look at this waif-like creature told Merlin three things: She was a dryad, she was ill, and that tree was her home. What surprised him however, so he would say later, was how quickly Elyan had come to that conclusion.

“What should I call you?” Merlin began pleasantly.

“I do not have a name.” She said meekly. In quite a different voice continued. “Now ask the other one why he has come back.” Merlin motioned for Elyan to keep quiet.

“His body is rotting much as, I believe, your own form is. We've traveled here to discover the cause and to heal him.” Elyan and the woman both looked at him in surprise. He decided to ignore the reaction for the moment. “I have one question to ask: what is needful to make you both well again?”

“This thief only bears the consequences of his actions. My last hope was my children and he took that from me! Even if something could be done I would not have it done!”

This was likely the first time in almost six years Merlin was actually upset that he'd been right.

“Merlin, what's going on?” Elyan asked him, thoroughly confused.

“I don’t rightly know.” Merlin replied without turning his head. “Will you please tell him?”

“My body is rotting. All my hope was in my children.” The statement was to Merlin in a quiet, deliberate voice, as though she were trying to explain to him her own form of Justice. She turned again to Elyan. “Because of you I no longer have them. Now you bear the weight of my sickness.”

“The apples I gave to Gwen?” Elyan said, a light dawning in his eyes.

“It was an innocent mistake..” Merlin began.