Merlin's Amnesia

 

He awakens slowly. It is several moments before he feels that he is lying down. He wants to get up, but somehow this seems like a BAD idea. There is a faint voice behind him; someone is looking for him.

No, he is looking for someone called Merlin.

“but that's me” he thinks to himself, “isn't it?”

A young, blonde haired man approached him.; familiar and yet not so.

“Merlin there you are we thought we'd lost you!”

“What? Who?”

“Right, very funny Merlin.”

“Why do you call me that?

“It's your name when last I checked.”

“Then your check was wrong” Merlin said simply. “My name is Emrys.”

--the expression on the young kings face changed from bemusement to bewilderment in the blink of an eye. He quickly recovered however.

“Alright. I'll go along with this for now. But if it turns out you're faking it, you'll be polishing my armor til you're blinded from the glare!”

“You say that like it's a punishment? Wave of my hand glint of the sun, all better now.”

“He might have been drunk except that we'd been gone since first light” Arthur would say later.

“Are you two alright” a man called from a top the hill.

“No damage on my end Gwaine but uh, I think Emrys here could use one of Gaius' strongest tonics.”

“Gaius? Good man Gaius, love his books.”

This was getting to be too much for the young king. He could only hope Merlin WAS only pretending.

Several hours later, Merlin lay on his bed in Gaius chambers at the palace. Both Arthur and Merlin were standing over him.

“You say he didn't even know his own name?” Gaius asked Arthur presently.

“Worse than that Gaius. He called himself Emrys.” upon noticing Gaius' startled look, “that name doesn't mean anything to you does it?

“I'm afraid not sire. I'm left to wonder how his mind latched onto that name.”

“Perhaps he found it in one of your books. He did say you had very good books.”

“Funny, he didn't seem that interested in them before.”

“…Nor in polishing my armor.” At this Gaius started.

“He remembered that?!

“Well, yes. Why?’

“If he knows you and he knows me, then he knows what is familiar to him. It's all still in there somewhere. A few more days we might have the old Merlin back...but I think we should let him sleep.”

“I won't dispute that Gaius. Good night.”

Arthur walked out of the room into the hall. To his surprise he found Gwaine there, pacing nervously.

“How is he Arthur?”

“Gaius said it's not as bad as it looked. He says, give it a few days, he'll be back to normal. (Sigh of relief) Come on, let's go and have some supper. (relief instantly replace by sadness)

“What is it Gwaine?”

“I'll stay here, with Merlin. I'm not that hungry anyway.”

“I have never seen you tremble so much, even in combat. What's wrong?

“Aren't you worried about him?”

“Gwaine” he said slowly, “of course I am. But I can do nothing for him here and neither can you. I think we should go and eat something”

“Friends can help just by being their Arthur. Melin proved that to me long ago. I never told you this, but, though my loyalty is to you, My devotion is to him. He is my friend.”

Arthur stared as if he didn't know what to think.

“The simple truth is, unless you order me to the feast, I'm staying right here.”

“Then you should stay, and be with him.”

The sun was just beginning to peak through the window as Merlin finally woke up. There was a man in front of him, vaguely familiar. “Gaius” he guessed.

“...no. I uh sent him off to get some sleep about an hour ago.”

“and you stayed up with me?”

“Believe me Merlin, it was the least I could do.”

“May I ask you why?”

“I would think you were using false sincerity Merlin! But if you need to know, when I came to Camelot almost two years ago, I was, to put it mildly, an outcast. You were the only one who stood by me. When next we met, I called you the only friend I had. And I believe you still are.”

“I'm sorry...I can't even remember your name.”

(laughing) It's Gwaine. SIR Gwaine to most people now. But like I said, you and I go back too far for that. Arthur will be wanting to see you as soon as you are well enough.”

“Arthur? The man who found me? What am I to him?”

“I uh..I'm not sure I know what you mean.”

“If there's one thing I sense, remember or know, it's that I belong at Arthur's side. I'm hoping someone here will tell me why.” --Gaius approaches.

“You are his servant Merlin. That is your station. But I would somewhat think the two of you more, companions, if all were at rights.”

Gwaine stared at him as though fearing he'd gone senile. Apparently either his words, or the manner in which he said them were 'other than ordinary'. To Merlin it seemed Gaius was trying to send him a message, one that Gwaine wasn't supposed to hear.

“I should go to him.” Gwaine instantly stood up to protest:

“Merlin you're ill. I'm sure he'd understand.”

“no. let him go.” Gaius said gently.

Gwaine, will you stay a moment?” Gaius asked him when Merlin had left.

“Of course Gaius, what’s wrong?”

“I heard what you said a few moments ago. I have something to tell you I’m not sure you’d believe. Gwaine’s eyes widened a moment in expectation. It seemed to him that there was something dreadful in what Gaius was about to say.

I’m concerned about Merlin. If word got out about his condition…If Morganna somehow found out about it; he wouldn’t be the only one in danger.

“I’ve seen Merlin jump down a dragon’s throat for Arthur. As close to Arthur as he is, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Arthur could be put in danger by this.”

“Indeed Gwaine. But that’s not all I was referring to.”

“I see Gaius.” Gwaine said with a somewhat sad expression on his face. “The issue isn’t whether I can defend Merlin; it’s whether he could trust me enough to let me.”

This was not entirely so, but Gaius decided to let the explanation suffice. “Gwaine I know he can trust you with his life. I just, I don’t want him to think you’re being a mother hen.”

“I believe I understand Gaius. When next I see him, I’ll ask him to join me on a ride?”

“Thank you Gwaine.”

Arthur is sitting at his desk. Merlin is moving about the chambers tidying and cleaning.

“Merlin, could you bring me the scrolls from the middle shelf of the cabinet?” Arthur asked without looking up from the tax records on his desk. Merlin looked over at the cabinet and pictured it in his mind. The door opened and the needed scrolls floated out and across the room, settling on the corner of Arthur's desk. Arthur looked up.

“Thank- how did you get over there so quickly?” Merlin turned to face the King.

“Sire?” Arthur reached for the scrolls.

“Never mind...” Merlin shrugged his shoulders and continued arranging the clothing in the cupboard. After sorting the tunics and breeches according to color, he placed the matching boots beneath each set.

“Merlin, (cough) bring me some water.” Merlin saw the pitcher in his mind and floated it across from the table. Arthur looked up and saw it when it was in the middle of the room. As it landed on his desk, he slowly moved his chair back – a small knot of fear forming in his stomach. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words refused to form in his mind from the shock of what he'd just seen. Finally, his voice broke through.

“MERLIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Merlin snapped around and saw the pale faced king. Arthur had risen from his chair and stood with one hand pointing at the vessel of water.

“You asked for the water, Sire.”

“NOT LIKE THAT! There are LAWS against magic. You know this!!”

Merlin held his hands loosely by his side with his palms facing forward. “I swear to you, I didn't know! I didn't remember!”

Arthur stepped around his desk to his servant. Merlin backed up against the wall behind him. “How long have you been able to use magic?”

“Until this morning, I didn't know that I could. I reached for my scarf, and it jumped in to my hand.”

“Did anyone see you do this?” Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulder.

“I was in my room alone. I was well away from the window.” Arthur's steel eyes looked right into Merlin's. he could not see any signs of dishonesty, but that did not mean Merlin had just been careless.

“Has anyone seen you use magic before now?”

“I haven’t noticed anyone reacting to it. I think if anyone had seen me, you would have heard of it.” Arthur released Merlin and turned away. He picked up the pitcher of water, and then thumped it back onto the desk. Merlin did not move.

“I can barely believe this.” Arthur stated shortly. “In the past 5 years, I've learned to trust you with my life. And now you do this. Do you have any idea the sort of trouble you're in?”

Merlin nodded his head with wide eyes. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this angry before. But please, before you do anything, may I ask you something?

“Merlin, you must not have any idea what’s going on to ask a favor of me now.”

“Not a favor Milord, a question.”

“Make. It. Brief.” Arthur said thru gritted teeth.

“Will Gaius be all right?”

“Merlin, right now you are in more trouble than anyone could possibly be in, and yet you're more worried about Gaius than yourself.” A sad look passed over the king's face. “That is so like you. It's like you don't even care about yourself compared to others.”

“Sire, right now, I don't care what happens to me, but please, tell me he's going to be alright. At least that you won't blame him for me.”

“You think he knows?”

“If I've been here for 5 years, he must know.” Horrified, Merlin covered his mouth with his hand as if he could protect Gaius with that gesture. Arthur sank into the chair behind his desk.

“I shall talk to Gaius about you – and he. Until then, carry on with your duties. We shall speak later.”

Merlin tried not to shake as he bowed to the King. “Yes, Sire.”