Ashes at Rest

The conclusion to a five part story called Dining on Ashes. Nikita almost dies 3 weeks ago. And they hadn't really been talking to each-other for several months before that.

Nikita warmly greets J'onn who is clearly uncomfortable, and a little standoffish.

“J'onn I am asking as formally as I can for you to be direct and precise. Which if I know you at all, shouldn't be hard for you.”

“Do you recognize the name 'Hank Henshaw'?"

A dark look cast over Nikita's eyes. "Only as a complete jerk who tried to keep Jeremiah away from his family. And when I was here before he, 'didn't like me very much'. He must be long dead now because I try to picture him and all I see is you."
"That might be because I am wearing his face. He has been dead for six years. Something is weighing on you. I don't need to be a telepath to read you."

“J'onn, what happened between us?”

“Why do you ask? Standing where you are, what inspires the question?”

“J'onn, you are my best friend in the entire universe I know this. But I'm alternating between wanting to apologize to you and wanting to grab you by the neck and shake some sense into you. Which makes no freaking sense.”

"That's a much longer story than either of us have the emotional threshold for."

"Did I do something to offend you? Did something stupid one of us said linger for so long we are actually used to the distance?"

"God no and absolutely not." I told her forcefully. "Something did happen between us. Something we both regret and with the help of time and friends have managed to learn the better of. But it was my fault. It was ENTIRELY my fault. The last thing I want you to do is blame yourself. But you are the kind of person who would do that." She looked at me with a curious expression. "I've known you for 8 years now and with your help I've learned exactly two things that cannot change. You give grace upon grace to everyone. even strangers. You shoulder blame and responsibility that is not yours to bear. At first I thought you were simply sharing the burden for the sake of easing someone else's shoulders. That's how it was when I first met you and Jeremiah. But then I saw what happened with Kal-El and...You force the burden on to your own shoulders, whether it's yours to bear or not. There is nothing you could ever have done to offend me Nikita. You are my family here."

"The D.E.O. has become a family for both of us. That much I can see."

"No Nikita. You are my family here. I never had a family on Earth until I met you. I love you like a daughter. I felt feelings of love, responsibility and protection I have not felt in over 300 hundred years. I'm sorry I never took the time to tell you."

"J'onn, EMPATH remember? Believe me, I knew."

“But I feel better finally saying it.”

“J'onn do you know what the Xavallen word 'Alana-Kai' means?”

“Guardian.”

“Solena is 'guardian'. Alana-Kai is 'protector'. You are Alana-Kai to me.”

The original distinction made between the two Xavallen words was a question of choice or position. Solena is guardian the same way a cop is a guardian of society or there would be a legal guardian in a custody battle.

Alana-Kai is if someone decides you are under their protection or that they would do anything to keep you safe. If someone takes you under thier wing and raises/protects you. Without position, obligation or even declaration.