Fresh Start Supernatural Style

“You do not want me doing this, trust me.”

“Want it, no. But I've been told we need it.”

“Castiel, I don't know how else to say this. If I walk into that room, if I give in, you will not like what walks back out.”

Castiel was grateful Dean could not see his face. “For what it's worth, I would give anything Not to have you do this.”

Dean closed his eyes. Castiel might have had the powers of an angel, but in this matter he was powerless. He stepped through to door, face set hard and cold. It wasn't that hard to do. The bastard strung up on the devil's trap had tortured him in hell for something like thirty years. Until finally he had agreed to be the torturer. And now, he would be one again. It was...something he didn't have time to think about. But he knew it would haunt him for years to come.

Sounds of pain came from the cold storage room, Alistair's, not Dean's. Castiel stood with his back ramrod straight against the wall, his arms firmly at his sides. He knew not to close his eyes, that his brethren were watching him with intense scrutiny, but somehow guarding an already triple-bolted room did not seem as important as intercession. “avi hakdush bioter. ani nichna lech bekal dvar shani osha. abel ani mevaksh am ze efshri, azor le'ish haza. haser et hameshima hazu mechtafav.” “My most holy Father. I submit to you in everything I do. But I ask, if possible, help this man. Take this burden from his shoulders.”

“What exactly are you doing?” Uriel's voice interrupted rudely.

“You know exactly what.” Castiel replied tersely.

“You really are enamored of these little grease monkey aren't you?”

“When God himself tells me to stop caring about humanity__His most glorious creation which we are sworn to protect__I will stop. But you and I both know Dean Winchester is more important to the fight than you are making out.”
“...Unfortunately yes.”

“ Then I should do everything within my power to keep him safe.”

“There is another, more sure way to win this fight.”

“Not without sacrificing the final battle. Or have you forgotten our ultimate enemy is Lucifer, not Alistair, and certainly not humanity.”

“Humanity?” Uriel laughed. “Humanity isn't worthy of being our concern, much less our enemy. And what makes Lucifer our enemy? Do you even remember our brother Lucifer? Rotting in that cage, what did he do to deserve that?”

“He rebelled against God, corrupted our father's creation and out of jealousy, ruined humanity.” Castiel replied, as if stating the obvious. His voice was measured, his eyes searching. Was Uriel really suggesting what he seemed to be suggesting?

“Do not let your sympathy for these mud monkey's blind you Castiel! Our father is gone, he doesn't care what any of us do. The fact that I am even standing here is proof of that!”

“You killed our brothers and sisters. You attacked the garrison, killed our fellow soldiers, fellow angels, then blamed it on Alistair and his demons?”

“I only killed the ones who said no.”

“And now, if I say no, you'll kill me.”

“I don't want to brother. I like you. And more than that, I need you. I need you to help me, help me free our brother Lucifer. All you have to do, is take a stand.”

“I intend to.” Castiel faced Uriel squarely, any hint of timidity gone from his face. “My sympathy for the humans aside, you still consider me a worthy solider.. I'm gratified.” Castiel drove his blade into Uriel's heart. “I am still a loyal acolyte Uriel. Of God and no other. Not Dean Winchester and not you. Before and unto all things you were created. Return now to your Creator.”

Dean woke up in his hospital bed to find Castiel sitting beside him.

“Are you alright?” The angel said with concern.

“No thanks to you.”

“I should have been more careful.”

“Screwing up the devil's trap?”

“Trusting the wrong people. Uriel was...working against us.”

“So I guess you guys aren't all that omniscient huh?”

“Dean, will you let me...' He reached his hand to touch Dean's broken jaw.

“Cass, I don't think you can.”

“Dean, I feel I owe you that much.”

“What will the others think.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Caring for you is in accordance with our orders. They won't have grounds to object. Frankly, I don't think I'd care if they did.” Castiel pressed his fingers against Dean's forehead and immediately the swelling vanished. Dean's sight was normal.

“Caring for me is 'according to your orders'?”

“You are aware, of what happened in Hell? Not what happened to you but, when you escaped?” Dean nodded miserably. “We believe that, it is written that the righteous man who begins this calamity, must be the one to end it. It's why Michael is so eager to have you as his vessel. Why I've taken such an interest in you. And why none of my brothers said anything...until recently.”

Dean wondered briefly what could have changed, if there was something specific Castiel had done to make the angels take notice. But he couldn't think what that would be, so he brushed the question aside. Castiel was staring at him again, his eyes soft but intense. “Dean, I hope I haven't ruined our chance at a friendship.”

Dean couldn't help smiling. For a solider of God surrounded by an army of ass-hats, Castiel was pretty okay. Almost human. “No Castiel. You've made a friend.”

Castiel approached the vehicle with Sam right behind him. Both the drivers seat and the ground beside it were drenched in blood. “He survived, right?” Sam inquired, or suggested, it was hard to tell sometimes.

“This way.”

As they searched for Gadreel, Castiel could not help feeling shame. The angel had 'screwed up' as the Winchesters would say. But he had come to them with an olive branch. Not only that but with a way to expose Metatron. Under the4 influence of the First Blade Dean had attacked him with the viciousness of a wild animal. Castiel had recently experienced both hunger and loneliness, but could not imagine feeling wounded and afraid. He saw a man lying face-up in the grass. It was Gadreel.

The man's eyes went wide with fear as soon as he saw them. He tried to scurry away but was too badly injured. “Please, I'll leave you alone, I swear.”

“We're not here to hurt you. Please believe me.” Castiel assured the man. He reached his hand out, to touch the man's forehead.

“No.” Gadreel insisted. “Your Grace, healing em would only weaken you.”

Castiel smiled grimly. “We are both soldiers of duty Gadreel. Do I really need to explain to you why I have to do this?” Gadreel sighed but did not protest further. Castiel touched the man's head and his wounds healed instantly. The gaping hole in his stomach sealed itself and vanished. The abrasions on his face disappeared. Castiel lurched forward as if he'd been struck.

“Gadreel.” Sam Winchester said rather formally.

“Sam Winchester.” The angel replied with a tilt of his head. They looked at each-other for a soft moment. “I hope I did not hurt you too badly.”

“I'm fine.” Sam assured him.

“Sam told me you were good to him when you were with him. That you acted with integrity. It is the main reason I originally sought you out. One thing you will learn is humans don't have our history. Or our arrogance.”

“We have that much in common at least.”

Castiel looked uncomfortable and decided to push the conversation into an area of concern. “Perhaps I have no right to ask this but I'm going to; will you come back to the bunker with us?” Castiel could not blame Gadreel for tensing at his words.

Sam voiced his thoughts. “Dean is under a spell that is robbing him of his senses. He is locked away in the storage room. He won't be able to hurt you again, I promise.”

“Gadreel, I am asking you to trust me. Return to the bunker with us, help us figure out a way to expose Metatron, and take him down.” Castiel stared hard at the angelic solider, the former prisoner of heave he had once sought to punish for his deceit and said three words. “Point. Of. Honor.”

“You do not need to convince me Castiel. I trust you. I'll come with you.”

They walked into the bunker together. There was no sign of Dean. But this did not immediately seem troubling. “So, you've helped both of us to see the other clearly.” Gadreel addressed Sam conversationally.

“What do you mean?”

“When Castiel first asked me to meet, to discuss Metatron and his tactics, the only reason I agreed was because I had seen him through your eyes. I knew you considered him...honorable.”

“To say the least.”

“Castiel says it is because of you that he even attempted to reach out to me. And I wanted to say thank you.”

“Gadreel, I didn't give you a glowing report or anything. I just told him the truth. You didn't hurt me, didn't scare me. You left me alone and I felt... I could tell you weren't at rest. That you weren't who everyone thought you were. Cass seemed to already suspect y ou weren't the selfish, heartless solider we assumed you to be. He asked me if I ever felt threatened, if you felt hostile. I didn't. You didn't and I told him that. There's nothing more to it.”

“One thing I've learned since the Fall, angels don' think much of humans. They obviously don't know you very well.”

I'm not sure where I'm going with this or what I want to focus on. But that's the point. No ideas to follow, no checking to see if I'm on the right path because there isn't a 'right path'. Castiel is a dynamic character the writers have now completely declawed. The main thing I'll change is I'll let Castiel keep his spine and 'use when needed' ferocity. Hopefully in the course of this Dean shove his own head SO far up his ass.

“James, what is going on?”

“I've thought about...what you said. I stayed up all night thinking about it.”

Jennifer leaned in, her movements cautious, her attitude loving. “And?”

“And I can't fail him.” James Cole looked briefly at his wife and walked sadly out of the house. Standing on his front porch, he looked up to Heaven. “Castiel, promise my family will be okay, and I'll do it.” A warm white light surrounded him, he closed his eyes. “Yes I understand. And yes.” He felt a surge of energy. It wasn't painful in the slightest, but warm, inviting. The light faded a moment later.

Jenny ran out the door and found her husband standing there. “James?”

“I am not your husband.” James Cole's voice intoned.

“You...you're Castiel.”

“Yes. Your husband is truly a devout man. I hope you believe me when I tell you he actually prayed for this.”

“I'm not certain I can. But I do believe he accepted this, accepted you.”

“That is all I can ask. I must go.” He began walking into the yard. He turned, as if sensing Jennifer's confusion. “I must go. I must find Dean Winchester.”

“Cas?” Dean called. He saw a man lying on his back.

“Cas, whoa take it easy.” Sam urged holding him gently.

The man held his hand to his forehead, his face pale. “Cas? You mean Castiel? No not....not Castiel. I'm Jimmy. My name is Jimmy.”

Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks. Sam touched Jimmy's shoulder gingerly. “This might sound crazy but you really better come with us.”

“Crazier than letting an angel use you as a host for a year?”

“Tabling the con-fab until we're out of the hot zone.” Dean insisted.

Twenty minutes later Jimmy Emmanuel Cole sat at the dinging table in a low rent motel two very concerned strangers staring at him.

“I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy toasted oats so much.” Said the man with the longer hair and wider face.

“It's been almost a year since I've eaten anything.” Jimmy replied.

“Okay that would do it.” Said the other man. A man with shorter hair, slightly sharper features and strong emotions. “He never let you out?”

“I volunteered to be a vessel, I was the outside.”

“Ohh next time I see him I am so gonna kick his ass.”

“Pretty sure that can wait til later.” Sam insisted, putting his hand on his brother's arm. “What do you remember about being... possessed?”

“Not a lot. I remember being surrounded by a bright light. This constant, dull pain, calm, an empty kind of calm. It's not like we talked. I remember sitting in my living room with my wife and the next thing I know, the two of you are standing over me.”

“That doesn't sound pleasant.”

“It wasn't. I wish I could say it was worth it but I'd be lying.” Jimmy looked from the concerned, soft-spoken man on his left to his other new friend. This man seemed to be struggling with anger, even feelings of betrayal. “It's not Castiel's fault. I chose this. I invited him in. He must have told you that.”

“He did. It still doesn't seem fair.”

“He s an angel of the Lord. No human concerns like family or fair.” James said blithely. “I'm sorry I've been so rude. What are your names?”

“I'm Sam Winchester. This is my brother Dean.” Said the man on his left.

The names clearly meant nothing to him.

“James, you don't have to pretend. I know the truth.”

“About Castiel, how?”

“He...he talked to me, right after. I guess you don't remember but I ran out after you. Castiel told me you had invited him in.”

“I did. I asked him to make sure you and Claire were okay. I've been...I'm not sure where I've been since that day.”

“But he...let you go?”

“I get the feeling it was more like someone yanked him out of me and kicked him to the curb. I don't know where to begin. I have NO idea what's been going on. Sam and Dean said they've been__ Dean?” __ Yeah, they say they've been working with Cass off and on for almost a year...they haven't been by here have they?”

“No, they haven't.” Jenny assured her husband. “It's just when Castiel left he said he needed to find Dean Winchester.”

“This is...actually making a weird sort of sense.”

“The boys, they didn't want me coming here. Said I'd be putting you in danger.”

“And you should've listened to them.” A voice said from the other side of the room.

“We keep our promises James. As best we can. Your work is done. It's time to go home. You'll rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Rest now James.”

“No, Claire.”

“She's with me now, she's safe.”

Jimmy Novak clutched his daughters hand, trembling with both pain and fear. “Please Castiel. Take me back. Just take me please.”

“I need you to understand. It may be a hundred years or more before I l can leave again. Nothing will change. You won't die, or age. You won't see your family again except in your memory.”

“It doesn't matter. She didn't chose this. I did. So take me. I'll stay in the fight, no matter how long it takes. Just take me, please.”

Castiel sighed heavily. “As you wish.”

“Daddy, where are you going?”

“He's answering God's call.” Jennifer answered.

“But we just got you back.” Claire all of 12 years insisted.

“I am sorry Claire. I hope you'll forgive me. I hope you'll understand one day. God put a call on my life, or at least an angel did. I'm answering that call.” Claire ran to give her father a hug. James pressed his lips to her forehead in a fatherly kiss.

“Where will you go?” Jennifer asked. It was all she could think to say.

“Wherever my charge takes me, I suppose.” The angel Castiel answered.

"God be with you...Jimmy." Jennifer Novak said in a heartfelt tone.

The angel Castiel actually smiled back

“Jimmy, is that you?” Jennifer said, standing at her front door.

“It's me Jennifer. It's really me.” James Cole sat down on his couch, his face was tight. “Jenny, I don't know what to say. I've no idea what's been happening. I must have been crazy. I'm SO sorry, for everything I put you through.”

“It wasn't you, it was Castiel.”

“Oh please don't bring him up. I don't__You believe me, about him?”

“I saw him...inhabit you. It was hard not to believe after that.”

“Listen I...Sam and Dean told me I'm putting you in danger by being here. And I probably am. But I had to see you.”

“Dean?” Jennifer echoed.

“Yeah they're__people who work with Castiel apparently. Dean even calls him 'Cass'; don't ask me why.” Catching a look in his wife's eyes, James sat straight up. “They haven't been here, have they?”

“No. It's just--when Castiel left he said he needed to find Dean Winchester. Is that why he let you go? He accomplished his mission?”

James shook his head. “I have the feeling it was more like someone yanked him out of me, against his will. I was left behind.”

“...This is starting to make a weird sort of sense.” Jennifer remarked.

“What will we do now?” Jimmy asked, relieved and puzzled.

“You can die.” A voice said from the other side of the room.